During dinner the guest led the talk which was exclusively between the
two men. He insisted on discussing bacteriological subjects with
Laurence. Laurence deferred politely to Dudley's ignorance.
The large room in which they sat was lighted by the candles at either
end of the long table. The glow, like a bright shadow, was reflected in
the dark woodwork and against the obscure walls. Through the tall open
windows the wind brought the warm night in with a soft rush of
blackness. Then the pale candle flames flattened into fans and the wax
slipped with a hiss into the burnished holders.
Laurence was humped in his chair as usual, so that the rough collar of
his coat rose up behind against his neck. Most of the time as he talked
he stared straight before him; but occasionally he glanced with his
small pained eyes into Dudley's engrossed and persistent face.
Julia saw with unusual clearness everything that Laurence said and did.
She was possessively aware of his gestures, and when he spoke easily and
fluently of his work she had a proprietary satisfaction in it, and was
full of animosity toward Dudley's questioning.
She felt betrayed by Dudley, who approached Laurence by ignoring her
mediumship. She could not bear the admission of Dudley's power to
exclude her. They could only live in each other. She gave him life in
her, but he obliterated her from himself, and so condemned her to a sort
of death. And while she was dead he gave Laurence her life. She was dead
and alone with her body that was so alive. She felt her breasts swelling
loathsomely under her crisp green muslin dress, and her long hidden legs
stretched horribly from the darkness of her hips. Her live body
possessed her stupidly. If only he would take it from her! If only with
one glance he would admit her to himself!
As they passed from the dining room Julia touched Laurence despairingly.
He saw her worried smile. "You're warm, dear," she said. And she added,
"I wonder how our children fared upstairs, eating alone in state." She
wanted to compel Laurence into the atmosphere of domestic intimacies
where her guest had no part.
"I wonder." He returned her smile abstractedly and spoke to Dudley
again. "You know Weissman of Berlin--"
Julia looked unconsciously tragic and bit her lip. "Have you been able
to arrange for your exhibition, Dudley?" she interrupted demandingly.
Her voice was sharp.
"Why, no--" Dudley glanced at her with pleasant interrogation. "You were
saying--about Weissman?" He was naïve like a child unconscious of
rudeness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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