“As a child I was afraid of the dark, I was afraid of going out
on the street in a dark night. In fact, even a moonlight night
terrified me when I remained alone. I was afraid to go into dark
places, such as cellars, or into lonely places even in the daytime.
“As a child I was always shy, fearful, timid, and self-conscious to
a painful degree. Even as a grown-up woman I am often a sufferer
from the same cause, although I have sufficient self-control to
conceal it.
“I have to be careful of my state of health, as the latter is
very delicate. I am a chronic sufferer from indigestion and
constipation, although I somehow manage to regulate these troubles.
“When I need my nerves in good control so frequently, they are in
a state of utter collapse. My brain is in a state of confusion, in
a state of whirl just when I need to think the clearest. My poor
brain feels as if a tight band encircled and contracted it. It
seems to me as if the brain has shrunken from the temples.
“My memory is unreliable. Often I read quite carefully, but I am
unable to recall what I have read. Especially is this so, if called
upon without previous warning. My brain goes into a panic of an
extremely alarming kind.
“I was told that I was a woman of a good brain and of great talent,
that all I needed was to exercise my will and determination, and
that I would succeed. I lack concentration and I lack confidence.
“In my childhood hell fire was preached. Fore-ordination and an
arbitrary God were held up to my childish comprehension. I was bred
in fear, and self destruction resulted.”
IV
The following valuable account given by an eminent physician brings
out well the factors and principles of neurosis expounded in this
volume:
“You ask me to write about my fears. I give you a brief account.
“As a child, as far as memory carries, I had a fear of ghosts, of
giants, of monsters, and of all kinds of mysterious and diabolical
agencies and witchcraft of which I had heard a number of tales and
stories in my early childhood. I was afraid of thieves, of robbers,
and of all forms of evil agencies. The fears were stronger at
daytime, but more so at night. Strange noises, unexpected voices
and sounds made a cold shiver run down my back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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