The hours passed. The city became silent. It slept, like a greedy
child to whom dainties are promised. Regina could not sleep, but she
was not insensible to the kindness and the warmth. The little snail
had looked out from the window of its shell and seen the sun shining
on the grass. Melodious sound of bells trembled and oscillated on
the quiet night. One seemed to come from beyond a river, grave,
sonorous, nostalgic. To her surprise Regina found herself repeating
certain lines of Prati's, which she was not conscious of having
known before. Whence did they arise? Perhaps from the depths of her
subconsciousness, evoked by the nostalgic song of the bells on that
first Christmas of exile.
"Dreaming of home and of the country ways,
The village feastings and the green spring days."
She repeated the lines many times to herself with sing-song monotony,
which ended by putting her asleep. She dreamed she was at home.
Her young sister played "Stefánia" on her mandoline. Regina saw
the mandoline distinctly and its inlaid picture of a troubadour
with a mandola. The little black cat was listening, rather bored,
and yawning ostentatiously. Outside fell the evening, violet-grey,
velvety, silent. Suddenly a perplexed visage with gold-rimmed
eye-glasses started up behind the window-panes. Regina laughed so
loud that she woke her husband.
"Whatever is it?" he asked in alarm.
"His Excellency," she murmured, still dreaming.
Next morning, on awakening, Antonio found Regina in tears.
"You were laughing last night--now you cry," he said, with slight
impatience. "Can't you explain what on earth's the matter with you?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing! You're crying! What are you crying about? I can't bear it
any longer! Why do you torment me like this?"
She took his hand and passed it over her eyes. He repented.
"What is it? What is it? Tell me--only tell me, Regina, Regina!" he
urged, tenderly and anxiously.
"It has nothing to do with you," she said, hiding her face on his
breast, "it's all my own fault. I don't know why, but I can't conquer
the past--the homesickness--and I'm afraid of the future."
He also felt a mysterious fear.
"Why are you afraid of the future?"
"Because--I suppose because we are poor. Rome is so horrid for the
poor."
"But, Regina, we aren't poor!" he exclaimed with increasing alarm,
"and, anyhow, don't we love each other?"
"To love--to vegetate--it's not enough--not enough," she murmured.
"But you knew all about it, Regina!"
"I knew and I know. I'm furious with myself that I can't overcome my
aversion to this _bourgeois_ life."
"But after all--down there at your home--what sort of life were you
leading?"
"Oh, Antonio! I had dreams!"
Antonio understood the anguish in that cry, and tried to lull her
sorrow for the time being, administering as to a sick person an
innocuous soothing mixture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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