Political fiction; Russia -- History -- 1801-1917 -- Fiction; Russia -- Officials and employees -- Fiction
“Anyway, in a year you will be worth less,” I continued malignantly.
“You will go from here to something lower, another house; a year
later—to a third, lower and lower, and in seven years you will come to
a basement in the Haymarket. That will be if you were lucky. But it
would be much worse if you got some disease, consumption, say ... and
caught a chill, or something or other. It’s not easy to get over an
illness in your way of life. If you catch anything you may not get rid
of it. And so you would die.”
“Oh, well, then I shall die,” she answered, quite vindictively, and she
made a quick movement.
“But one is sorry.”
“Sorry for whom?”
“Sorry for life.” Silence.
“Have you been engaged to be married? Eh?”
“What’s that to you?”
“Oh, I am not cross-examining you. It’s nothing to me. Why are you so
cross? Of course you may have had your own troubles. What is it to me?
It’s simply that I felt sorry.”
“Sorry for whom?”
“Sorry for you.”
“No need,” she whispered hardly audibly, and again made a faint
movement.
That incensed me at once. What! I was so gentle with her, and she....
“Why, do you think that you are on the right path?”
“I don’t think anything.”
“That’s what’s wrong, that you don’t think. Realise it while there is
still time. There still is time. You are still young, good-looking; you
might love, be married, be happy....”
“Not all married women are happy,” she snapped out in the rude abrupt
tone she had used at first.
“Not all, of course, but anyway it is much better than the life here.
Infinitely better. Besides, with love one can live even without
happiness. Even in sorrow life is sweet; life is sweet, however one
lives. But here what is there but ... foulness? Phew!”
I turned away with disgust; I was no longer reasoning coldly. I began
to feel myself what I was saying and warmed to the subject. I was
already longing to expound the cherished ideas I had brooded over in my
corner. Something suddenly flared up in me. An object had appeared
before me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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