Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
Schtoltz uttered these words softly, and almost as though he were
speaking to himself. And in the words was a note of despondency which
seemed to say that already he could see approaching her “sorrows” and
“travail.”
She said nothing--she was too deeply struck with the mournful foreboding
in his tone. Yet she trusted him implicitly--his voice alone inspired
in her belief; and for that very reason his gravity affected her deeply,
and concentrated her thoughts upon herself. Leaning upon him, she paced
the avenue slowly and mechanically, with her soul awed to a silence
which she could not break. Following her husband’s eyes, she was gazing
forward at the vista of life, and trying to discern the point where,
according to his words, “sorrows and travail” were awaiting her. And
as she did so she saw arise before her a vision in which there became
revealed to her a sphere of life that was no longer to be bright and
leisured and protected, that was no longer to be passed amid plenty,
that was no longer to be spent alone with him. In that sphere she could
descry only a long sequence of losses and privations, with copious
tears, strict asceticism, involuntary renunciation of whims born of
hours of ease, and new and unwonted sensations which should call forth
from her cries of pain and disappointment. Yes, in that vision she saw
before her only sickness, material ruin, the loss of her husband, and...
Shuddering and faltering, she, with a man’s courageous curiosity,
continued to gaze at this unfamiliar presentment of life, and timidly to
review and to estimate her ability to cope with it. Only love, she
saw, would never fail her--only love would over this new existence keep
ever-faithful watch and ward. Yet it would be love of a different kind.
From it there would be absent all ardent sighs and shining days and
rapturous nights; as the years went on such things would come to seem
children’s sport compared with the non-intimate affection which life,
now grown profound and menacing, would cause her to adopt for her guide.
From that life came to her ears no sound of laughter and kisses and
tremulous, soulful intercourse amid groves and flowers, while life and
nature kept high holiday. No, such things were “withered and gone.”
The love beheld in that vision was a love which, unfading and
indestructible, expressed itself on the features of husband and wife
only during seasons of mutual sorrow, and shone forth only in slow,
silent glances of mutual sympathy, and voiced itself only in a constant,
joint endurance of the trials of life as he and she restrained the
tears, and choked back the sobs, which those trials called forth. With
that there came stealing into the midst of the doubts and fears which
beset her other visions--visions remote but clear, inspiring but
definite....
*****
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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