Odd Charges: Odd Craft, Part 13.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd Charges: Odd Craft, Part 13.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
[Illustration: "Putting his 'and to Bill's mug, he took out a live
frog."]
"It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
mug and took out a dead mouse. It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
into his mug.
"P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer. "Do you
'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
"Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
could move 'is fingers. I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
hobnailed boots.
"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer. Then he put his
'and on his 'art and bowed.
"Gentlemen all," he ses. "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
at seven o'clock; ad--mission, three-pence each."
They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin. He wanted
to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
gave way and said he'd risk it.
The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
each--coining money, I call it. Some o' the things wot he done was very
clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account