Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
[Illustration]
ODD CRAFT
By W. W. JACOBS
Illustrated by Will Owen
1911
CONTENTS
THE MONEY-BOX
THE CASTAWAY
BLUNDELL’S IMPROVEMENT
BILL’S LAPSE
LAWYER QUINCE
BREAKING A SPELL
ESTABLISHING RELATIONS
THE CHANGING NUMBERS
THE PERSECUTION OF BOB PRETTY
DIXON’S RETURN
A SPIRIT OF AVARICE
THE THIRD STRING
ODD CHARGES
ADMIRAL PETERS
ILLUSTRATIONS
“SAILORMEN ARE NOT GOOD ’ANDS AT SAVING MONEY AS A RULE.”
“‘I AIN’T HIT A MAN FOR FIVE YEARS,’ ’E SES, STILL DANCING UP AND DOWN.”
“‘WOT’S THIS FOR?’ SES GINGER.”
“THEY PUT OLD ISAAC’S CLOTHES UP FOR FIFTEEN SHILLINGS.”
“OLD ISAAC KEPT ’EM THERE FOR THREE DAYS.”
“MRS. JOHN BOXER STOOD AT THE DOOR OF THE SHOP WITH HER HANDS CLASPED ON HER APRON.”
“‘WELL, LOOK ’ERE,’ SAID MR. BOXER, ‘I’VE TOLD YOU MY STORY AND I’VE GOT WITNESSES TO PROVE IT.’”
“THERE IS SOMETHING FORMING OVER YOU.”
“AH! WHAT IS THIS? A PIECE OF WRECKAGE WITH A MONKEY CLINGING TO IT?”
“‘HAVE YOU LEFT ANYTHING INSIDE THAT YOU WANT?’ SHE INQUIRED.”
“‘YOU VILLAIN!’ CRIED MRS. GIMPSON, VIOLENTLY. ‘I ALWAYS DISTRUSTED YOU.’”
“‘FATHER WAS SO PLEASED TO SEE YOU BOTH COME IN,’ SHE SAID, SOFTLY.”
“SHE ASKED ME WHETHER YOU USED A WARMING-PAN.”
“‘BAH! YOU ARE BACKING OUT OF IT,’ SAID THE IRRITATED MR. TURNBULL.”
“WITH A WILD SHRIEK, HE SHOT SUDDENLY OVER THE EDGE AND DISAPPEARED.”
“YOU TAKE MY ADVICE AND GET ’OME AND GET TO BED.”
“WHEN ANY OF THE THREE QUARRELLED HE USED TO ACT THE PART OF PEACEMAKER.”
“BILL JUMPED INTO A CAB AND PULLED PETER RUSSET IN ARTER ’IM.”
“PATTED BILL ON THE BACK, VERY GENTLE.”
“PICKED OUT THE SOFTEST STAIR ’E COULD FIND.”
“OLD SAM SAID ’OW SURPRISED HE WAS AT THEM FOR LETTING BILL DO IT.”
“LAWYER QUINCE.”
“‘COME DOWN TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE PRISONER?’ INQUIRED THE FARMER.”
“‘NONE O’ YER IMPUDENCE,’ SAID THE FARMER.”
“I THOUGHT ALL ALONG LAWYER QUINCE WOULD HAVE THE LAUGH OF YOU.”
“‘HOW DID YOU GET IN THAT SHED?’ DEMANDED HER PARENT.”
“HE GOT ’IMSELF VERY MUCH LIKED, ESPECIALLY BY THE OLD LADIES.”
“MRS. PRINCE WAS SITTING AT ’ER FRONT DOOR NURSING ’ER THREE CATS.”
“HE TOOK IT ROUND, AND EVERYBODY ’AD A LOOK AT IT.”
“SHE SAT LISTENING QUITE QUIET AT FUST.”
“THE DOCTOR FELT ’IS PULSE AND LOOKED AT ’IS TONGUE.”
“MR. RICHARD CATESBY, SECOND OFFICER OF THE SS. WIZARD, EMERGED FROM THE DOCK-GATES IN HIGH GOOD-HUMOUR.”
“MR. CATESBY MADE A FEW INQUIRIES.”
“‘I’M JUST GOING AS FAR AS THE CORNER,’ SAID MRS. TRUEFITT.”
“I’LL GO AND PUT ON A CLEAN COLLAR.”
“I’LL LOOK AFTER THAT, MA’AM.”
“MR. SAMUEL GUNNILL CAME STEALTHILY DOWN THE WINDING STAIRCASE.”
“THE CONSTABLE WATCHED HIM WITH THE AIR OF A PROPRIETOR.”
“HE SAW THE DOOR JUST OPENING TO ADMIT THE FORTUNATE HERBERT.”
“MR. SIMS WATCHED HER TENDERLY AS SHE DREW THE BEER.”
“FROM THE KITCHEN CAME SOUNDS OF HAMMERING.”
“‘DON’T CALL ON ME AS A WITNESS, THAT’S ALL,’ CONTINUED MR. DRILL.”
“‘POACHING,’ SAID THE OLD MAN, ‘AIN’T WOT IT USED TO BE IN THESE ’ERE PARTS.’”
“‘I SHALL ’AVE ’EM AFORE LONG,’ SES MR. CUTTS.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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