Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“THREE MEN BURST OUT O’ THE PLANTATION.”
“BOB PRETTY POINTED WITH ’IS FINGER EXACTLY WHERE ’E THOUGHT IT WAS.”
“‘YOU OUGHT TO BE MORE CAREFUL,’ SES BOB.”
“TALKING ABOUT EDDICATION, SAID THE NIGHT-WATCHMAN.”
“‘GO AND SLEEP SOMEWHERE ELSE, THEN,’ SES DIXON.”
“YOU’D BETTER GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ON SOME DECENT CLOTHES.”
“CHARLIE HAD ’AD AS MUCH AS ’E WANTED AND WAS LYING ON THE SEA-CHEST.”
“THE WAY SHE ANSWERED HER ’USBAND WAS A PLEASURE TO EVERY MARRIED MAN IN THE BAR.”
“MR. JOHN BLOWS STOOD LISTENING TO THE FOREMAN WITH AN AIR OF LOFTY DISDAIN.”
“‘JOE!’ SHOUTED MR. BLOWS. ‘J-O-O-OE!’”
“‘THEY DRAGGED THE RIVER,’ RESUMED HIS WIFE, ‘AND FOUND THE CAP.’”
“IN A PITIABLE STATE OF ‘NERVES’ HE SAT AT THE EXTREME END OF A BENCH.”
“MR. BLOWS, CONSCIOUS OF THE STRENGTH OF HIS POSITION, WALKED UP TO THEM.”
“DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT LOVE, BECAUSE I’VE SUFFERED ENOUGH THROUGH IT.”
“MISS TUCKER.”
“‘LET GO O’ THAT YOUNG LADY’S ARM,’ HE SES.”
“BILL LUMM, ’AVING PEELED, STOOD LOOKING ON WHILE GINGER TOOK ’IS THINGS OFF.”
“THE WAY HE CARRIED ON WHEN THE LANDLADY FRIED THE STEAK SHOWED ’OW UPSET HE WAS.”
“SEATED AT HIS EASE IN THE WARM TAP-ROOM OF THE CAULIFLOWER.”
“PUTTING HIS ’AND TO BILL’S MUG, HE TOOK OUT A LIVE FROG.”
“HE WAS RUNNING ALONG TO BOB PRETTY’S AS FAST AS ’IS LEGS WOULD TAKE ’IM.”
“AFORE ANYBODY COULD MOVE, HE BROUGHT IT DOWN BANG ON THE FACE O’ THE WATCH.”
“THE SCREAM ’E GAVE AS GEORGE KETTLE POINTED THE PISTOL AT ’IM WAS AWFUL.”
“SAT AT THE DOOR OF HIS LODGINGS GAZING IN PLACID CONTENT AT THE SEA.”
“MR. STILES WAS AFFECTING A STATELINESS OF MANNER WHICH WAS NOT WITHOUT DISTINCTION.”
“MR. STILES CALLED THE WIDOW A ‘SAUCY LITTLE BAGGAGE.’”
“‘GOOD RIDDANCE,’ SAID MR. BURTON, SAVAGELY.”
THE MONEY-BOX
Sailormen are not good ’ands at saving money as a rule, said the
night-watchman, as he wistfully toyed with a bad shilling on his
watch-chain, though to ’ear ’em talk of saving when they’re at sea and
there isn’t a pub within a thousand miles of ’em, you might think
different.
[Illustration]
It ain’t for the want of trying either with some of ’em, and I’ve known
men do all sorts o’ things as soon as they was paid off, with a view to
saving. I knew one man as used to keep all but a shilling or two in a
belt next to ’is skin so that he couldn’t get at it easy, but it was
all no good. He was always running short in the most inconvenient
places. I’ve seen ’im wriggle for five minutes right off, with a
tramcar conductor standing over ’im and the other people in the tram
reading their papers with one eye and watching him with the other.
Ginger Dick and Peter Russet—two men I’ve spoke of to you afore—tried
to save their money once. They’d got so sick and tired of spending it
all in p’r’aps a week or ten days arter coming ashore, and ’aving to go
to sea agin sooner than they ’ad intended, that they determined some
way or other to ’ave things different.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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