Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“He’s there yet,” said the farmer. “I locked him in, and Hogg here says
that I’ve got the right to keep him locked up there as long as I like.
I say it’s agin the law, but Hogg he says no. I say his folks would
come and try to break open my stable, but Hogg says if they do I can
have the law of ’em for damaging my property.”
“So you can,” interposed Mr. Hogg, firmly. “You see whether Lawyer
Quince don’t say I’m right.”
Mr. Quince frowned, and in order to think more deeply closed his eyes.
Taking advantage of this three of his auditors, with remarkable
unanimity, each closed one.
“It’s your stable,” said Mr. Quince, opening his eyes and speaking with
great deliberation, “and you have a right to lock it up when you like.”
“There you are,” said Mr. Hogg; “what did I tell you?”
“If anybody’s there that’s got no business there, that’s his look-out,”
continued Mr. Quince. “You didn’t induce him to go in?”
“Certainly not,” replied the farmer.
“I told him he can keep him there as long as he likes,” said the
jubilant Mr. Hogg, “and pass him in bread and water through the winder;
it’s got bars to it.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Quince, nodding, “he can do that. As for his folks
knocking the place about, if you like to tie up one or two of them
nasty, savage dogs of yours to the stable, well, it’s your stable, and
you can fasten your dogs to it if you like. And you’ve generally got a
man about the yard.”
Mr. Hogg smacked his thigh in ecstasy.
“But—” began the farmer.
“That’s the law,” said the autocratic Mr. Quince, sharply. “O’ course,
if you think you know more about it than I do, I’ve nothing more to
say.”
“I don’t want to do nothing I could get into trouble for,” murmured Mr.
Rose.
“You can’t get into trouble by doing as I tell you,” said the
shoemaker, impatiently. “However, to be quite on the safe side, if I
was in your place I should lose the key.”
“Lose the key?” said the farmer, blankly.
“Lose the key,” repeated the shoemaker, his eyes watering with intense
appreciation of his own resourcefulness. “You can find it any time you
want to, you know. Keep him there till he promises to give up your
daughter, and tell him that as soon as he does you’ll have a hunt for
the key.”
Mr. Rose regarded him with what the shoemaker easily understood to be
speechless admiration.
“I—I’m glad I came to you,” said the farmer, at last.
“You’re welcome,” said the shoemaker, loftily. “I’m always ready to
give advice to them as require it.”
“And good advice it is,” said the smiling Mr. Hogg. “Why don’t you
behave yourself, Joe Garnham?” he demanded, turning fiercely on a
listener.
Mr. Garnham, whose eyes were watering with emotion, attempted to
explain, but, becoming hysterical, thrust a huge red handkerchief to
his mouth and was led away by a friend. Mr. Quince regarded his
departure with mild disdain.
“Little things please little minds,” he remarked.
“So they do,” said Mr. Hogg. “I never thought—What’s the matter with
you, George Askew?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account