Odd Man Out: Sailor's Knots, Part 6.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
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Odd Man Out: Sailor's Knots, Part 6.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
Charlie didn't seem to care much for it at fust, but he didn't raise no
objection; and when the gal got up to go he stopped the bus for 'er by
poking the driver in the back, and they all got off together. Ted went
fust to break her fall, in case the bus started off too sudden, and
Charlie 'elped her down behind by catching hold of a lace collar she was
wearing. When she turned to speak to 'im about it, she knocked the
conductor's hat off with 'er umbrella, and there was so much
unpleasantness that by the time they 'ad got to the pavement she told
Charlie that she never wanted to see his silly fat face agin.
"It ain't fat," ses Ted, speaking up for 'im; "it's the shape of it."
"And it ain't silly," ses Charlie, speaking very quick; "mind that!"
"It's a bit o' real lace," ses the gal, twisting her 'ead round to look
at the collar; "it cost me one and two-three only last night."
"One an' _wot?_" ses Charlie, who, not being a married man, didn't
understand 'er.
"One shilling," ses the gal, "two pennies, and three farthings. D'ye
understand that?"
"Yes," ses Charlie.
"He's cleverer than he looks," ses the gal, turning to Ted. "I s'pose
you're right, and it is the shape after all."
Ted walked along one side of 'er and Charlie the other, till they came to
the corner of the road where she lived, and then Ted and 'er stood there
talking till Charlie got sick and tired of it, and kept tugging at Ted's
coat for 'im to come away.
"I'm coming," ses Ted, at last. "I s'pose you won't be this way
to-morrow night?" he ses, turning to the gal.
"I might if I thought there was no chance of seeing you," she ses,
tossing her 'ead.
"You needn't be alarmed," ses Charlie, shoving in his oar; "we're going
to a music-'all to-morrow night."
"Oh, go to your blessed music-'all," ses the gal to Ted; "I don't want
you."
She turned round and a'most ran up the road, with Ted follering 'er and
begging of 'er not to be so hasty, and afore they parted she told 'im
that 'er name was. Emma White, and promised to meet 'im there the next
night at seven.
O' course Mr. Charlie Brice turned up alongside o' Ted the next night,
and at fust Emma said she was going straight off 'ome agin. She did go
part o' the way, and then, when she found that Ted wouldn't send his mate
off, she came back and, woman-like, said as 'ow she wasn't going to go
'ome just to please Charlie Brice. She wouldn't speak a word to 'im, and
when they all went to the music-'all together she sat with her face
turned away from 'im and her elbow sticking in 'is chest. Doing that and
watching the performance at the same time gave 'er a stiff neck, and she
got in such a temper over it she wouldn't hardly speak to Ted, and when
Charlie--meaning well--told 'er to rub it with a bit o' mutton-fat she
nearly went off her 'ead.
"Who asked you to come with us?" she ses, as soon as she could speak.
"'Ow dare you force yourself where you ain't wanted?"
"Ted wants me," ses Charlie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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