Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabeFord, Sewell
General
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe
Ford, Sewell
Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Then it was the noble hearted DeLancey to the rescue. He don't exactly
take them right into the fam'ly; but he sends Mr. and Mrs. Bob over to
his big Long Island country place, assigns 'em quarters in the north
wing, and advises 'em to be as happy as they can. Now to most folks that
would look like landin' on Velveteen-st.,--free eats, no room rent, and a
forty-acre park to roam around in, with the use of a couple of safe
horses and a libr'y full of improvin' books, such as the Rollo series and
the works of Dr. Van Dyke.
Brother Bob don't squeal or whine. He starts in to make the best of it by
riggin' himself out like an English Squire and makin' a stagger at the
country gentleman act. He takes a real int'rest in keepin' up the grounds
and managin' the help, which DeLancey had never been able to do himself.
It's as dull as dishwater, though, for Mrs. Robert Cathaway, and as there
ain't anyone else handy she takes it out on Bob. Accordin' to all
accounts, they must have done the anvil chorus good and plenty. You can
just see how it would be, with them two dumped down so far from Broadway
and only now and then comp'ny to break the monotony. When people did
come, too, they was DeLancey's kind. I can picture Bob tryin' to get
chummy with a bunch of prison reformers or delegates to a Sunday school
union. I don't wonder his disposition curdled up.
If it hadn't been for Mrs. Bob, though, they'd been there yet. She got so
used to rowin' with Bob that she kept it up even when Brother DeLancey
and his friends came down. DeLancey stands for it until one morning at
breakfast, when he was entertainin' an English Bishop he'd corraled at
some conference. Him and the Bishop was exchangin' views on whether free
soup and free salvation was a good workin' combination or not, when some
little thing sets Mr. and Mrs. Bob to naggin' each other on the side. I
forgot just what it was Bob shot over; but after standin' her jabs for
quite some time without gettin' real personal he comes back with some
stage whisper remark that cut in deep.
Mrs. Bob was right in the act of helpin' herself to the jelly omelet,
usin' a swell silver servin' shovel about half the size of a brick
layer's trowel. She's so stirred up that she absentmindedly scoops up a
double portion, and just as Bob springs his remark what does she do but
up and let fly at him, right across the table. Maybe she'd have winged
him too,--and served him right for saying what no gentleman should to a
lady, even if she is his wife,--but, what with her not stoppin' to take
good aim, and the maid's gettin' her tray against her elbow, she misses
Bob by about three feet and plasters the English Bishop square between
the eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account