Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe — John Shaqi
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabeFord, Sewell
General
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe
Ford, Sewell
Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Now of course that wa'n't any way to serve hot omelet to a stranger, no
matter how annoyed you was. DeLancey told her as much while he was
helpin' swab off the reverend guest. Afterwards he added other
observations more or less definite. Inside of two hours Mr. and Mrs. Bob
found their baggage waitin' under the porte cochere, and the wagonette
ready to take 'em to the noon train. They went. It was given out that
they was travelin' abroad, and if it hadn't been for the omelet part of
the incident they'd been forgotten long ago. That was a stunt that stuck,
though.
As I looks at DeLancey there in the limousine I has to grin. "Say," says
I, "was it a fact that the Bishop broke loose and cussed?"
"That humiliating affair, Mr. McCabe," says he, "I would much prefer not
to talk about. I refer to my brother now because, knowing that you are
going to Clam Creek, you will probably meet him there."
"Oh!" says I. "Like to have me give him your best regards!"
"No," says DeLancey. "I should like, however, to hear how you found
him."
"Another report, eh!" says I. "All right, Mr. Cathaway, I'll size him up
for you."
"But chiefly," he goes on, "I shall depend upon your discretion not to
mention my brother's whereabouts to anyone else. As an aid to that
discretion," says he, digging up his roll and sortin' out some tens, "I
am prepared to----"
"Ah, button 'em back!" says I. "Who do you think you're dealin' with,
anyway?"
"Why," says he, flushin' up, "I merely intended----"
"Well, forget it!" says I. "I ain't runnin' any opposition to the Black
Hand, and as for whether I leak out where your brother is or not, that's
something you got to take chances on. Pull up there, Mr. Chauffeur! This
is where I start to walk."
And say, you could put his name on all the hospitals and orphan asylums
in the country; but I never could see it again without growin' warm under
the collar. Bah! Some of these perfectly good folks have a habit of
gettin' on my nerves. All the way down to Clam Creek I kept tryin' to
wipe him off the slate, and I'd made up my mind to dodge Brother Bob, if
I had to sleep in the woods.
So as soon as I hops off the train I gets my directions and starts to
tramp over this tract that Duke Borden was plannin' on blowin' some of
his surplus cash against. And say, if anybody wants an imitation desert,
dotted with scrub pine and fringed with salt marshes, that's the place to
go lookin' for it. There's hundreds of square miles of it down there that
nobody's usin', or threatenin' to.
Also I walked up an appetite like a fresh landed hired girl. I was so
hungry that I pikes straight for the only hotel and begs 'em to lead me
to a knife and fork. For a wonder, too, they brings on some real food,
plain and hearty, and I don't worry about the way it's thrown at me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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