“It might give him a chance,” said the doctor, “to put right some wrong
he might otherwise leave behind him. If what you are thinking of is
that, he might put himself right in any spiritual point of view--at this
last moment.”
Katherine rose up as if she were blind, feeling before her with her
hands. Her father, with all his imperfections--with nothing that was not
imperfection or worse than imperfection--with a mind that had room for
nothing but the lowest elements, who had never thought of anything
higher, never asked himself whither he was going---- She walked straight
forward, not saying anything, not able to bear another word. To put
himself right--at the last moment. She felt that she must hasten to him,
fly to him, though she did not know, being there, what she should do.
The room was so entirely in its usual condition--the nurse settling for
the night, the medicines arranged in order, the fire made up, and the
nightlight ready to be lighted--that it seemed more and more impossible
to realise that this night there was likely to occur something
different, something that was not on the invalid’s programme. The only
thing that betrayed a consciousness of any such possibility was the look
which the nurse rapidly gave Katherine as she came in. “I am putting
everything as usual,” she said in a whisper, “but I think you should not
go to bed.” That was all--and yet out of everything thus settled and
habitual around him, he was going away, going absolutely away to no one
could tell where, perhaps this very night. Katherine felt herself
stupefied, confounded, and helpless. He was going away all alone, with
no directions, no preparations for the journey. What could she tell him
of the way? Could any guide be sent with him? Could any instinct lead
him? A man accustomed only to business, to the state of the stocks and
the money market. Her heart began to beat so fast that it sickened her,
and she was conscious of scarcely anything but its sound and the heaving
of her breast.
The invalid, however, was not composed as usual. He was very restless,
his eyes shining from his emaciated face. “Ah, that’s you, Katie,” he
said; “it’s too late for you to be up--and the doctor back again. What
brings the doctor back again? Have you any more to do to me, eh,
to-night?”
“Only to make sure that you’re comfortable,” Dr. Burnet said.
“Oh, comfortable enough--but restless. I don’t seem as if I could lie
still. Here, Katie, as you’re here, change me a little--that’s better--a
hold of your shoulder--now I can push myself about. Never been restless
like this before, doctor. Nervous, I suppose you think?”
“No, you’ve never been like this before,” the doctor said, with an
unconsciously solemn voice.
“Oh, papa,” cried Katherine, “you are very ill; I fear you are very
ill.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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