4. Vanity-love. The vast majority of men, especially in France, desire
and have a fashionable woman, in the same way as a man gets a fine
horse, as something which the luxury of a young man demands. Their
vanity more or less flattered, more or less piqued, gives birth to
transports of feelings. Sometimes there is also physical love, but by
no means always: often there is not so much as physical pleasure. A
duchess is never more than thirty for a bourgeois, said the Duchesse
de Chaulnes, and those admitted to the Court of that just man, king
Lewis of Holland, recall with amusement a pretty woman from the Hague,
who could not help finding any man charming who was Duke or Prince.
But true to the principle of monarchy, as soon as a Prince arrived at
Court, the Duke was dismissed: she was, as it were, the decoration of
the diplomatic body.
The happiest case of this uninspiring relationship is that in which
to physical pleasure is added habit. In that case store of memories
makes it resemble love a little; there is the pique of self-esteem
and sadness on being left; then, romance forces upon us its ideas and
we believe that we are in love and melancholy, for vanity aspires to
credit itself with a great passion. This, at least, is certain that,
whatever kind of love be the source of pleasure, as soon as the soul
is stirred, the pleasure is keen and its memory alluring, and in this
passion, contrary to most of the others, the memory of our losses seems
always to exceed the bounds of what we can hope for in the future.
Sometimes, in vanity-love habit or despair of finding better produces a
kind of friendship, of all kinds the least pleasant: it prides itself
on its security, etc.[1]
[Pg 21]
Physical pleasure, being of our nature, is known to everybody, but it
takes no more than a subordinate position in the eyes of tender and
passionate souls. If they raise a laugh in the salons, if often they
are made unhappy in the intrigues of society, in return the pleasure
which they feel must remain always inaccessible to those hearts, whose
beat only vanity and gold can quicken.
A few virtuous and sensitive women have scarcely a conception of
physical pleasures: they have so rarely risked them, if one may use the
expression, and even then the transports of passion-love caused bodily
pleasure almost to be forgotten.
There are men victims and instruments of diabolical pride, of a pride
in the style of Alfieri. Those people who, perhaps, are cruel because,
like Nero, judging all men after the pattern of their own heart, they
are always a-tremble--such people, I say, can attain physical pleasure
only in so far as it is accompanied by the greatest possible exercise
of pride, in so far, that is to say, as they practise cruelties on the
companion of their pleasures. Hence the horrors of _Justine_(2). At any
rate such men have no sense of security.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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