Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 3 (of 3) — John Shaqi
Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 3 (of 3)Grant, James
General
Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 3 (of 3)
Grant, James
Afghan Wars -- Fiction
In this awful situation, after his first exclamation of deadly and
palsied fear, not a word, not a whisper--only sighs--escaped him. He
had never prayed in his life, and knew not how to do so now. The
blessed name of God had been often on his cruel lips, in many a
matter-of-fact affidavit, and in many an affirmation, made falsely,
but never in his heart; so now, he never thought of God or devil, of
heaven nor hell, his only fear was death--extinction!
And there he swung, every respiration a gasping, sobbing sigh, every
pulsation a sharp pang; he had not the power to groan; as yet his
long, lean, bony hands were not weary; but the branch might rend, the
gorse bush uproot, and _then_----
Nevertheless he made wild and desperate efforts to escape the
dreadful peril, by writhing his body upward, as his head was only
some four feet below the edge of the upper rim or course of crumbling
brickwork, which lined the circular shaft, and often he felt his toes
scratch the wall, and heard the fragments detached thereby pass
whizzing downwards; but he never heard the ascending sound of the
fall below--because below was far, far down indeed!
The silence was dreary--awful: he dared not look beneath, for nothing
was to be seen there but the blackness of utter profundity; he could
only gaze upward to where the placid stars that sparkled in the blue
dome of heaven, seemed to be winking at him. He dared not cry, lest
he should waste his breath and failing strength; and had he attempted
to do so the sound would have died on his parched and quivering lips.
In every pulsation he lived his lifetime over again, and all the
secret crimes of that lifetime were, perhaps, being atoned for now.
The widows who, without avail or winning pity, had wept, (in that
inquisitorial camera de los tormentos, his "office,"), for the loss
of the hard-won savings of dead husbands, their children's bread;
wretches from under whose emaciated forms he had dragged the bare
pallet, leaving them to die on a bed of cinders, and all in form and
process of law; the strong and brave spirited men, who had lifted up
their hard hands and hoarsely cursed him, ere they betook them to the
parish union or worse; the starvelings who had perhaps gained their
suits, but only in their last coats; the crimes that some had
committed through the poverty and despair he had brought upon them;
the unsuspecting, into whose private and monetary matters he had
wormed himself by specious offers of gratuitous assistance and
advice--a special legal snare--by the open and too often secret
appropriation of valuable papers; and by the thousand wiles and
crooks of policy known only to that curse of society, the low legal
practitioner, seemed all to rise before him like a black cloud now;
and out of that cloud, the faces of his pale victims seemed to mock,
jibe, and jabber at him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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