Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 3 (of 3)Grant, James
General
Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 3 (of 3)
Grant, James
Afghan Wars -- Fiction
And there, too, were the handwritings he had imitated, the signatures
he had forged, the sham accounts he had fabricated against the
wealthy or the needy, the ignorant and the wary alike; but Sharkley
felt no real penitence, for he knew not that he had committed any
sin. Had he not always kept the shady side of the law? and, if
rescued, would he not return to his sharp practice thereof as usual?
Yet he felt, as the moments sped on, a strange agony creeping into
his soul:
"So writhes the mind Remorse hath riven,
Unfit for earth, undoomed for heaven,
Darkness above, despair beneath,
Around it flame, within it death!"
The bush bending under his weight, hung more perpendicularly now, and
thus Sharkley's knees, for the first time, grazed till they were
skinned and bloody against the rough brickwork. Was the root
yielding? Oh no, no; forbid it fate! He must live--live--_live_; he
was not fit to die--and thus, too! The cold, salt perspiration,
wrung by agony, flowed from the roots of his hair, till it well nigh
blinded him, and tears, for even a creature such as he can weep,
began to mingle with them. They were perfectly genuine, however, as
Master William S. Sharkley wept the probabilities of his own untimely
demise.
He had once been on a coroner's inquest. It sat in the principal
room of a village inn, upon some human bones--nearly an entire
skeleton--found in an old, disused, and partially filled-up pit. He
remembered their aspect, so like a few white, bleached winter
branches, as they lay on a sheet on the dining-table. He could
recall the surmises of the jurors. Did the person fall? Had he, or
she--for even sex was doubtful then--been murdered? or had it been a
case of suicide? None might say.
The poor bones of the dead alone could have told, and they were
voiceless. All was mystery, and yet the story of some forgotten
life, of some unknown crime, or hidden sorrow, lay there; the story
that man could never, never know.
This episode had long since been forgotten by Sharkley; and now, in
an instant, it flashed vividly before him, adding poignancy to the
keen horrors of his situation. Was such a fate to be his?
He could distinctly see the upper ledge of bricks, as he looked
upward from where, though he had not swung above three minutes, he
seemed to have been for an eternity now; and though he knew not how
to pray, he thought that he could spend the remainder of his life
happily there, if but permitted to rest his toes upon that narrow
ledge, as a place for footing, as now his arms seemed about to be
rent from his shoulders. His eyes were closed for a time, and he
scarcely dared to breathe--still less to think.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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