But of late there had been enough to turn a stronger head than hers.
Gregory's homage and admiration were now sincere, and she knew it, and
it was no trifling thing to win such unbounded esteem from a man who
had seen so much of the world and was so critical. "He may be bad
himself, but he well knows what is good and noble," was a thought that
often recurred to her. Then, in a moment of sudden and terrible peril,
she had been able to master her strong natural timidity, and be true to
conscience, and while she thanked God sincerely, she also was more and
more inclined to take a great deal of credit to herself. Gregory's
words kept repeating themselves, "You are made of different clay from
others." While she knew that this was not true as he meant it, still
the tempter whispered, "You are naturally superior, and you have so
schooled yourself that you are better than many others." Her father's
intense look of pride and pleasure when he first learned of her
fortitude, and his strong words of thankfulness, she took as incense to
herself. Then came a flock of eager, curious, sympathizing people, who
continued to feed her aroused pride by making her out a sort of
heroine. Chief of all she was complacent in the consciousness of so
generously shielding Gregory when, if she had told the whole story,
she, in contrast with him, would appear to far greater advantage.
Altogether, her opinion of Annie Walton was rising with dangerous
rapidity; and the feeling grew strong within her that, having coped
successfully with such temptations, she had little to fear from the
future. And this feeling of overweening self-confidence and
self-satisfaction was beginning to tinge her manner. Not that she would
ever show it offensively, for she was too much of a lady for that. But
at the supper-table that evening she gave evident signs of elation and
excitement. She talked more than usual, and was often very positive in
matters where Gregory knew her to be wrong; and she was also a little
dictatorial. At the same time the excitement made her conversation more
brilliant and pointed, and as Gregory skilfully drew her out, he was
surprised at the force and freshness of her mind.
And yet there was something that jarred unpleasantly, a lack of the
sincere simplicity and self-forgetfulness which were her usual
characteristics. He had never known her to use the pronoun "I" with
such distinctness and emphasis before. Still all this would not have
seemed strange to him in another, but it did in her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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