This is sorry progress. A man must indeed have lived radically wrong
when he looks backward for the best of his life. Gray-haired Mr. Walton
was looking forward. Gregory's habit of self-pleasing--of acting
according to his mood--was too deeply seated to permit even the thought
of returning the hospitality he hoped to enjoy by a cordial effort on
his part to prove himself an agreeable guest. Polite he ever would be,
for he had the instincts and training of a gentleman, in society's
interpretation of the word, but he had lost the power to feel a
generous solicitude for the feelings and happiness of others. Indeed,
he rather took a cynical pleasure in discovering defects in the
character of those around him, and in learning that their seeming
enjoyment of life was but hollow and partial. Conscious of being evil
himself, he liked to think others were not much better, or would not be
if tempted. Therefore, with a gloomy scepticism, he questioned all the
seeming happiness and goodness he saw. "It is either unreal or
untried," he was wont to say bitterly.
About seven o'clock, Hannah, the waitress, again appeared, saying:
"Supper is ready, but the ladies beg you will not come down unless you
feel able. I can bring up your tea if you wish."
Thinking first and only of self, he at once decided not to go down. He
felt sufficiently rested and revived, but was in no mood for
commonplace talk to comparative strangers. His cosey chair, glowing
fire, and listless ease were much better than noisy children,
inquisitive ladies, and the unconscious reproach of Mr. Walton's face,
as he would look in vain for the lineaments of his lost friend.
Therefore he said, suavely: "Please say to the ladies that I am so
wearied that I should make but a dull companion, and so for their
sakes, as well as my own, had better not leave my room this evening."
It is the perfection of art in selfishness to make it appear as if you
were thinking only of others. This was the design of Walter's polite
message. Soon a bit of tender steak, a roast potato, tea, and toast
were smoking appetizingly beside him, and he congratulated himself that
he had escaped the bore of company for one evening.
Notwithstanding his misanthropy and cherished desolation the supper was
so inviting that he was tempted to partake of it heartily. Then
incasing himself in his ample dressing-gown he placed his slippered
feet on the fender before a cheery fire, lighted a choice Havana, and
proceeded to be miserable after the fashion that indulged misery often
affects.
Hannah quietly removed the tea-tray, and Mr. Walton came up and
courteously inquired if there was anything that would add to his
guest's comfort.
"After a few hours of rest and quiet I hope I shall be able to make a
better return for your hospitality," Gregory rejoined, with equal
politeness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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