"Oh, do not feel under any obligation to exert yourself," said kind Mr.
Walton. "In order to derive full benefit from your vacation, you must
simply rest and follow your moods."
This view of the case suited Gregory exactly, and the prospect of a
visit at his old home grew still more inviting. When he was left alone,
he gave himself up wholly to the memories of the past.
At first it was with a pleasurable pain that he recalled his former
life. With an imagination naturally strong he lived it all over again,
from the date of his first recollections. In the curling flames and
glowing coals on the hearth a panorama passed before him. He saw a
joyous child, a light-hearted boy, and a sanguine youth, with the
shifting and familiar scenery of well-remembered experience. Time
softened the pictures, and the harsh, rough outlines which exist in
every truthful portraiture of life were lost in the haze of distance.
The gentle but steady light of mother love, and through her a pale,
half-recognized reflection of the love of God, illumined all those
years; and his father's strong, quiet affection made a background
anything but dark. He had been naturally what is termed a very good
boy, full of generous impulses. There had been no lack of ordinary
waywardness or of the faults of youth, but they showed a tendency to
yield readily to the correcting influence of love. Good impulses,
however, are not principles, and may give way to stronger impulses of
evil. If the influences of his early home had alone followed him, he
would not now be moodily recalling the past as the exiled convict might
watch the shores of his native land recede.
And then, as in his prolonged revery the fire burned low, and the ruddy
coals turned to ashes, the past faded into distance, and his present
life, dull and leaden, rose before him, and from regretful memories
that were not wholly painful he passed to that bitterness of feeling
which ever comes when hope is giving place to despair.
The fire flickered out and died, his head drooped lower and lower,
while the brooding frown upon his brow darkened almost into a scowl.
Outwardly he made a sad picture for a young man in the prime of life,
but to Him who looks at the attitude of the soul, what but unutterable
love kept him from appearing absolutely revolting?
Suddenly, like light breaking into a vault a few notes of prelude were
struck upon the piano in the parlor below, and a sweet voice, softened
by distance sung:
"Rock of ages, cleft for me,
let me hide myself in thee,"
How often he had heard the familiar words and music in that same home!
They seemed to crown and complete all the memories of the place, but
they reminded him more clearly than ever before that its most
inseparable associations were holy, hopeful, and suggestive of a faith
that he seemed to have lost as utterly as if it had been a gem dropped
into the ocean.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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