At last in the consciousness of solitude he said: "She told me I must
find her out. I will. I will know whether she is as free from human
frailty as she seems. I have little doubt that before many days I can
cause her to show all the inherent weaknesses of her sex; and I should
think New York and Paris had taught me what they are. She has never
been tempted. She has never been subjected to the delicate flattery of
an accomplished man of the world. I am no gross libertine. I could not
be in this place. I could not so wrong hospitality and the household of
my father's friend. But I should like to prove to that girl her
delusion, and show her that she is a weak woman like the rest; that she
is a pretty painted ship that has never been in a storm, and therefore
need not sail so confidently. We all start on the voyage of life as
little skiffs and pleasure boats might cross the ocean. If any get
safely over, it is because they were lucky enough not to meet dangerous
currents or rough weather. I should like her better with her piquant
ways if she were more like myself. Saints and Madonnas are well enough
in pictures, but such as I would find them very uncomfortable society."
With sudden power the thought flashed upon him, "Why not let her make
you as she is?" Where did the thought come from? Tell me not that the
Divine Father forgets His children. He is speaking to them continually,
only they will not hear. There was a brief passionate wish on the part
of this bad man that she might be what she seemed and that he could
become like her. As the turbulent, muddy Jordan divided that God's
people might pass through, so this thought from heaven found passage
through his heart, and then the current of sinful impulse and habit
flowed on as before. With the stupidity of evil he was breaking the
clew that God had dropped into his hand even when desperately weary of
his lost state. He is wrecked and helpless on the wide ocean; a ship is
coming to his rescue; and his first effort is that this vessel also may
be wrecked or greatly injured in the attempt.
There is no insanity like that of a perverted heart. The adversary of
souls has so many human victims doing his work that he can fold his
hands in idleness. And yet according to the world's practice, and we
might almost say its code, Gregory purposed nothing that would be
severely condemned--nothing more than an ordinary flirtation, as common
in society as idleness, love of excitement, and that power over others
which ministers to vanity. He had no wish to be able to say anything
worse of her than that under temptation she would be as vain and
heartless a coquette as many others that he knew in what is regarded as
good society. He would have cut off his right hand, as he then felt,
rather than have sought to lead her into gross sin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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