'When I used to meet Verlaine in days gone by,' he continued with an
outburst of pride, 'I was never ashamed of being seen with him. I was
rich, light-hearted, and covered with glory, but I felt that to be seen
with him was an honour, even when Verlaine was drunk.' Then fearing to
bore G----, I think, he suddenly changed his mood, tried to be witty
and to make jokes. In the effort he became gloomy. My recollections
here are dreadfully sad. At last my friend and I got up. Wilde insisted
on paying for the drinks, and I was about to say good-bye, when he took
me aside, and, with an air of great embarrassment, said in a low voice,
'I say, I must tell you, I am absolutely without a penny[3].
Some days afterwards I saw him again, and for the last time. I do
not want to repeat more than one word of our conversation. He told
me of his troubles, of the impossibility of carrying out, or even of
beginning, a piece of work[4]. Sadly I reminded him of the promise he
had made not to show himself in Paris without having finished one book.
'Ah!' I began, 'why did you leave Berneval so soon, when you ought to
have stayed there so long? I cannot say that I am angry with you, but--'
He interrupted me, laid his hand on mine, looked at me with his most
sorrowful look, and said, 'You must not be angry with _one who has been
crushed_[5].'
* * * * *
Oscar Wilde died in a shabby little hotel in the Rue des Beaux Arts.
Seven persons followed the hearse, and even they did not all accompany
the funeral procession to the end. On the coffin were some flowers
and some artificial wreaths, only one of which, I am told, bore any
inscription. It was from the proprietor of the hotel, and on it were
these words: 'A MON LOCATAIRE.'
[1] The representatives of his family were willing to guarantee Wilde a
very good position if he would consent to certain stipulations, one of
which was that he should never see ---- again. He was either unable or
unwilling to accept the conditions.
[2] In October, 1897, he stayed with friends at the Villa Gindice,
Posillipo, and was in Naples till the end of the year, or the beginning
of 1898, when he went to Paris. In the following year he went to the
South of France (Nice) for the spring, but was back in June or July. He
went also to Switzerland in 1899 and stayed some time at Gland.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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