"But to answer the question of me noble friend, we 'ave not forgotten the great object for which you exist. In the disastrous an' unparalleled catastrophe of foreign invasion, which we 'ope will never come to pass, but which, if it does, we trust will happen when the Opposition is in power--if, I say, at that momentuous time, you should be found unequal to the task, our plans is made. If our opponents is in, we shall demand a General Election an' promptly proceed to throw them out; but, if by some mistake _we_ should be managing the vessel o' state at the time, we shall throw the blame on our predecessors for neglecting to train you properly. So our minds is easy as to the future. 'There's some guns we don't want in the corner, an' you can wear putties if you pay for them yourselves,' ses the Gov'mint, 'an' we trust to you to vote straight at the nex' Election.' "Then the Volunteer Off'cer, being by nature contrary, wants to know something about 'is duties an' ses to the Gov'mint, 'Yer remarks is excellent an' to the point, but what can I do to correct me errors?' 'Anything you like,' ses the Gov'mint, cheerfully, 'that's not agin the Reg'lashuns.' 'I give up my time,' ses the Volunteer, 'an' pay for nearly everything out of my own pocket, an' I'm anxious for to learn, but I ain't a prophet,' ses 'e. 'Give me someone to teach me.' 'I'll do anything you like in reason,' ses the Gov'mint, 'but I will not train you.' 'Tell me how to teach myself, then,' ses the Volunteer. 'I don't know an' I don't care,' ses the Gov'mint, 'but I'll spare the time to examine you if you pay yer expenses. An' meanwhile I will regard you in the light of a nuisance.' An' so matters 'ave stood, the Volunteer trying to do 'is best an' the Gov'mint doin' its level to stop 'im at it. [Illustration: "Very," ses the General.]