"But now, along comes the General. 'Th' Army's not big enough,' 'e ses. 'we must 'ave more men or I won't be responsible for breakages,' 'e ses. 'Serious?' ses the Gov'mint. 'Very,' ses the General. 'What am I to do?' ses the Gov'mint. 'Conscrip,' ses the General. 'I daren't,' ses the Gov'mint in a whisper; 'the Opposition 'ud get in at the next election.' 'The country requires it,' ses the General. '_Does_ it?' ses the Gov'mint. 'It requires _us_ more; it would be as much as my place is worth to ask every man to do his duty, an' besides, there's me brave and devoted Volunteers.' 'They'll never be any real good till they have the M'litia Ballot be'ind 'em,' ses the General. 'They're asking for it themselves,' ses he. 'Never will I consent to force any one,' ses the Gov'mint, 'in this Land of Freedom.' 'Something must be done,' ses the General. 'Ah,' ses the Gov'mint, 'I have it! Crowd them--I mean the Volunteers--for all you're worth, an' if anything busts, we can throw the blame on them. Increase the work an' cut down the pay, 'tis a sound business principle. Now to turn to more important questions. Is the new cap to have a peak, or is it not? An' who is it to be named after?'" [Illustration] [Illustration: Our First Puttie Parade.] [Illustration: Field Training. _Captain of Cadet Corps:_ "I've come over to ask you if you would mind my cadets running over your land for once, Mr. Stubbles. I want to give them a little field work." _Stubbles:_ "Wull I dunno as I've got any objection, 's long as they don't do no damage; but whatever kind o' dog be they now? I know o' 'arriers an' beagles, but I never 'eard tell o' that sort afore."] [Illustration] ON THE G.O.C. "The Junior Off'cers," said "Tiny" to the youngest Subaltern, "is on the whole as smart an' efficient a lot of young gents as I'd wish to see, fond o' their work, eager to learn, an' ready to take suggestions from their Comp'ny Instructors, but if you listen to them you'd think they was Generals. They may not know 'ow to c'mmand a comp'ny as they should, but there never was one of 'em who, after being a week at Aldershot, but what could have devised an' carried out a course of trainin' that would have been twice as good an' ten times more suitable to the requiremints of _their_ Battalion at any rate.