Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
As eating with another under his own roof is in all conditions of
society regarded as a sign of good-will, those who partake of proffered
hospitalities, only to gossip about and abuse their host and hostess,
should remember, that in the opinion of all honorable persons, they
injure themselves by so doing.
CALLS AFTER A DINNER PARTY.
Calls should be made shortly after a dinner party by all who have been
invited, whether the invitation be accepted or not.
RETURNING HOSPITALITY.
Those who are in the habit of giving dinner parties should return the
invitation before another is extended to them. Society is very severe
upon those who do not return debts of hospitality, if they have the
means to do so. If they never entertain anyone because of limited means,
or for other good reasons, it is so understood, and it is not expected
that they should make exceptions; or if they are in the habit of giving
other entertainments and not dinners, their debts of hospitality can be
returned by invitations to whatever the entertainment might be. Some are
deterred from accepting invitations by the feeling that they cannot
return the hospitality in so magnificent a form. It is not the costly
preparations, nor the expensive repast offered which are the most
agreeable features of any entertainment, but it is the kind and friendly
feeling shown. Those who are not deterred from accepting such
invitations for this reason, and who enjoy the fruits of friendliness
thus shown them, must possess narrow views of their duty, and very
little self-respect, if, when an opportunity presents itself in any way
to reciprocate the kind feeling manifested, they fail to avail
themselves of it. True hospitality, however, neither expects nor desires
any return.
EXPENSIVE DINNERS NOT THE MOST ENJOYABLE.
It is a mistake to think that in giving a dinner, it is indispensable to
have certain dishes and a variety of wines, because others serve them.
Those who entertain frequently often use their own discretion, and never
feel obliged to do as others do, if they wish to do differently. Some of
the most enjoyable dinners given are those which are least expensive. It
is this mistaken feeling that people cannot entertain without committing
all sorts of extravagances, which causes many persons, in every way well
qualified to do incalculable good socially, to exclude themselves from
all general society.
WINES AT DINNERS.
The _menu_ of a dinner party is by some not regarded as complete, unless
it includes one or more varieties of wine. When used it is first served
after soup, but any guest may, with propriety, decline being served.
This, however, must not be done ostentatiously. Simply say to the
waiter, or whoever pours it, "not any; thank you." Wine, offered at a
dinner party, should never be criticized, however poor it may be. A
person who has partaken of wine, may also decline to have the glass
filled again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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