“I care not,” says this narrow ego, in its firm resolve to understand
nothing, “I care not if the loftiest, the freest, the fairest portions
of my mind be eternally living and radiant in the supreme gladnesses:
they are no longer mine; I do not know them. Death has cut the network
of nerves or memories that connected them with I know not what centres
wherein lies the point which I feel to be my very self. They are thus
set loose, floating in space and time; and their fate is as alien to me
as that of the most distant stars. All that befalls has no existence for
me unless I can recall it within that mysterious being which is I know
not where and precisely nowhere and which I turn like a mirror about
this world whose phenomena take shape only in so far as they are
reflected in it.”
3
Thus our longing for immortality destroys itself while expressing
itself, since it is on one of the accessory and most transient parts of
our whole life that we base all the interest of our after-life. It seems
to us that, if our existence be not continued with the greater part of
its drawbacks, of the pettiness and blemishes that characterize it,
nothing will distinguish it from that of other beings; that it will
become a drop of ignorance in the ocean of the unknown; and that,
thenceforth, all that may come to pass will no longer concern us.
What immortality can one promise to men who almost necessarily conceive
it in this guise? What is the use of it? asks a puerile but profound
instinct. Any immortality that does not drag with it through eternity,
like the fetters of the convict that we were, the strange consciousness
formed during a few years of movement, any immortality that does not
bear that indelible mark of our identity is for us as though it were
not. Most of the religions have been well aware of this and have
reckoned with that instinct which desires and at the same time destroys
the after-life. It is thus that the Catholic Church, going back to the
most primitive hopes, promises us not only the integral preservation of
our earthly ego, but even the resurrection of our own flesh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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