Lastly, how shall we explain that, in that consciousness which ought to
survive us, the infinity that precedes our birth has left no trace? Had
we no consciousness in that infinity, or did we perchance lose it on
coming into the world and did the catastrophe that produces the whole
terror of death take place at the moment of our birth? None can deny
that this infinity has the same rights over us as that which follows our
decease. We are as much the children of the first as of the second; and
we must of necessity have a part in both. If you maintain that you will
always exist, you are bound to admit that you have always existed; we
cannot imagine the one without having to imagine the other. If nothing
ends, nothing begins, for any such beginning would be the end of
something. Now, although I have existed since all time, I have no
consciousness whatever of my previous existence, whereas I shall have to
carry to the boundless horizon of the endless ages the tiny
consciousness acquired during the instant that elapses between my birth
and my death. Can my true ego, then, which is about to become eternal,
date only from my short sojourn on this earth? And all the preceding
eternity, which is of exactly the same value as that which follows,
since it is the same, shall it not count? Will it be flung into
nihility? Why is a strange privilege accorded to a few meaningless days
spent on an unimportant planet? Is it because in that previous eternity
we had no consciousness? What do we know about it? It seems very
unlikely. Why should the acquisition of consciousness be a phenomenon
unrepeated in an eternity that had at its disposal innumerable billions
of chances, among which—unless we set a limit to the infinity of the
ages—it is impossible to conceive that the thousands of coincidences
which went to form my present consciousness did not occur over and over
again? The moment we turn our gaze upon the mysteries of that eternity
wherein all that happens must already have happened, it seems much more
credible, on the contrary, that we have had consciousness upon
consciousness which our life of to-day hides from our view. If they have
existed and if, at our death, one consciousness must survive, the others
must survive as well, for there is no reason to bestow so
disproportionate a favour upon that consciousness which we have acquired
here below. And, if all of them survive and awaken at the same time,
what will become of the petty consciousness of a few terrestrial
moments, when it is submerged in those eternal existences? Besides, even
if it were to forget all its previous existences, what would become of
it amid the perpetual buffeting, the endless wash of its posthumous
eternity? For it is but as a poor sand-drift of an island in the
unrelenting jaws of two boundless oceans. It would hold its own there,
puny and so precarious, only on condition that it acquired nothing more,
that it remained for ever closed, isolated and confined, impenetrable
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