British -- France -- Fiction; France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
What should he do--what should he do? He sat dully, his delicious
sweet world of imagination shrunk to unsightly clinkers, very mean and
grotesque. Only the real world stretched about him--a shoddy, vulgarly
formal affair. A laugh, a mere ironic chest-note, came from him. For
to what glorified uses did not men seek to convert this intrinsically
tawdry material! They were always sensitive to the befooling holiday
spirit, the spirit that is persistently ready to accept specious
commonplace at a fancy value. For all the essential purposes of
romantic passion he, if he chose, might take his pick (_he_ with his
title, his rich competence, and his personal attributes) from the
human fair that tinkled and scintillated about him. Yet he must price
all this opportunity at so much less worth than that of one set of
features as to value it, lying ready to his hand, at a pinch of dust
compared with the unattainable. The glamour of the fair was not for
him, let him elect to give his philosophy licence without limit.
He did, it will be observed, madame la gouvernante (who had been
genuinely distraught) something a little less than justice. But, after
all, his resentment in the first instance was against Mr Sheridan, and
in that, no doubt, he was justified; for he must fail, in the nature
of things, to understand what reason but a personal one could have
moved that gentleman to manœuvre to circumvent a suitor so frank and
so admissible as himself.
He called for wine; and, while drinking, for the first time in his
life, too much of it, his mood underwent a dozen rallies and relapses.
Passion, exasperation, and the most sick desire to possess what now
seemed to have evaded him for ever--emotion upon emotion, these
wrought in his suffering mind. More than once he was half-stirred to
the decision to return immediately to England; and, instantly
recalling the duke’s enigmatical suggestion anent the ladies’ return
to Paris, he would resolve to remain where he was, preferring the
problematical to the chances of hunting counter in the mazes of his
own capital. For he must see the girl again--to that he was
determined; he must see her again and, crashing at last through the
reserve his own diffidence had created, must seek to carry by storm
that with which he had so mistakenly temporised.
And then suddenly--a vision called up, perhaps, by the unwonted fever
in his veins--the figure of Pamela, as he had last seen it, stood
holding out to him in its hands the little crushed scarlet blossoms;
and he could see the wilful smile and hear the sweet voice offering
him the rose of his desire; and all in a moment his eyes were full of
tears, and he became shamefully conscious of his surroundings, the
very character of which profaned his thought.
He thrust his hand in an access of tenderness into his breast.
“Monsieur,” said a low, grave voice in his ear, “is in need of
sympathy.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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