=Collier= (_about the Dog_). "YES, SIR, AW GOT HIM IN MANCHESTER, YONDER, AN' DOCTOR AW'S GOING T' AX YE, HEY Y' ONY OBJECTION TIN US NAMIN' HIM EFTHER YE?!" =Young Medical Man= (_rather pleased_). "OH, DEAR NO, BY ALL MEANS--'DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE COMPLIMENT, THOUGH, HE'S NOT A BEAUTY TO LOOK AT!" =Collier.= "MEBBEES NOT, DOCTOR; BUT--SMASH!--MUN, HE'S A BEGGAR TO KILL!!" Illustration: "(_Not_) _Thankful for Small Mercies_" =Cat's-Meat Man.= "WHAT 'A YER GOT FOR DINNER TO-DAY, JOE?" =Crossing-Sweeper.= "OH, A BIT O' ROAST WEAL, SENT ME UP FROM NO. 6 IN THE CRESCENT 'ERE--AN' YER WOULDN'T B'LLEVE IT!--NOT A MOSSEL O' STUFFIN--AH, AN' NOT SO MUCH AS A SLICE O' LEMON!--AND (_with a sneer_) CALLS THEIRSELVES RESPECT'BLE PEOPLE, I'VE NO DOUBT!!" Illustration: _Delicacy._ =Edwin= (_as the Servant is present_). "AH--J'ETTAY SEE--AH--DISAPPOINTAY DE NE PAS VOO VWORE A LA RINK CE MATTANG--POORQWAW ESKER----?" =Angelina.= "AH WEE, MAIS MOMMONG----" =Parlour-Maid.= "HEM! BEG YOUR PARDON, MISS; BUT I UNDERSTAND THE LANGVIDGE!!" Illustration: "The Servants." =Mistress.= "JANE, TELL COOK I'LL COME DOWN AND SEE WHAT SHE WANTS DONE TO THAT STOVE, AS THE BUILDER'S COMING TO-MORROW." =Jane.= "O, PLEASE, 'UM, I DON'T THINK WE CAN AST YOU INTO THE KITCHING TO DAY, MUM, AS COOK AND ME'S GOT A SMALL AND EARLY 'AT OME' THIS AFTERNOON, MUM!" Illustration: Retributive Justice. =Farmer= (_giving the Culprit a Box o' the Ear_). "HOW DARE YOU BEAT THOSE GOSLINS, YOU YOUNG RASCAL? I SAW YOU!" =Boy.= "BOO, OO, OO, WHAT FURR'D THEY GORS-CHICKS FEYTHER BOITE OI THEN FURR?!" Illustration: "By the Card." =Pedestrian.= "HOW FAR IS IT TO SLUDGECOMBE, BOY?" =Boy.= "WHY 'BOUT TWENTY 'UNDERD THEAUSAN' MILD 'F Y' GOO 'S Y'ARE AGOOIN' NOW, AN' 'BOUT HALF A MILD 'F YOU TURN RIGHT REAOUND AN' GOO T' OTHER WAY!!" Illustration: _In Jeopardy._ THE NEW BOY WAS ENJOINED TO BE VERY CAREFUL HOW HE CARRIED THE FIDDLE-CASE--"BY THE HANDLE, AND TO MIND NOT TO KNOCK IT AGAINST ANYTHING!" IMAGINE THE HORROR OF MR. PITSEY CARTER, HIS MASTER, WHO WAS FOLLOWING, TO COME UPON THE RASCAL, WITH THE INVALUABLE "JOSEPH" ON HIS HEAD, EXECUTING A PAS-SEUL OVER A SKIPPING-ROPE!! Illustration: Heresy. =Mamma.= "YOU KNOW WHO BUILT THE ARK, GEORGE?" =George= (_promptly_). "NOAH, 'MA." =Mamma.= "AND WHAT DID HE BUILD IT FOR?" =George= (_dubiously_). "FOR LITTLE BOYS TO PLAY WITH, 'MA?!" Illustration: "Oh, the Mistletoe Bough!" =Greengrocer, Jun.= (_to whom our Little Friend in Velvet had applied for a piece of Mistletoe for his own private diversion_). "I'VE GOT YER A BIT, MASTER GEORGE. IT AIN'T A VERY BIG PIECE, BUT THERE'S LOTS O' BERRIES ON IT; _AN' IT'S THE BERRIES AS DOES IT_"!!! Illustration: Culture for the Working Classes. =Philanthropic Employer= (_who has paid his Workpeople's expenses to a neighbouring Fine-Art Exhibition_). "WELL, JOHNSON, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 'PICK UP AN IDEA OR TWO?"