=Town Man.= "TIME PASSES SLOWLY? YOU SHOULD GET SOMEBODY TO DRAW ON YOU AT THREE MONTHS!!" Illustration: In Consequence of the Tailors' Strike. GEORGE AND THE GOVERNOR HAVE THEIR CLOTHES MADE AT HOME. =George.= "ARE YOU SURE YOU TOOK MY RIGHT MEASURE, CHARLOTTE?" =Charlotte.= "OH, GEORGE, I'M SURE IT FITS BEAUTIFULLY!!" Illustration: "As Well as Can be Expected." =Horsey Parish Doctor= (_late for the Meet_). "WELL, MOTHER, AND HOW'S YOUR DAUGHTER, AND THE BABBY--POORLY, EH? AH, WELL, GIVE HIM A PINCH O' BRIMSTONE IN HIS PAP, AND I'LL LOOK IN TO-MORROW." Illustration: Penny Wise. =National Schoolmaster= (_going round with Government Inspector_). "WILKINS, HOW DO YOU BRING SHILLINGS INTO PENCE?" =Pupil.= "PLEASE, SIR, 'TAKES IT ROUND TO THE PUBLIC-'OUSE, SIR!!" Illustration: Reminiscences. =Governess.= "SHOW MR. SMITHERS YOUR NEW DOLL, ADA." =Old Rustic.= "AH--LOR'--DEARY ME, MUM, IF IT AIN'T THE VERY MODAL OF MY OLD WOMAN WHEN SHE WAS IN HER PRIME!!" Illustration: "Hoist with His Own 'Pomade'!" =Customer= (_worried into it_). "WELL, I DON'T MIND TAKING A SMALL BOTTLE----" =Barber.= "BETTER 'AVE A TWO SHILLIN' ONE, SIR; IT 'OLDS FOUR TIMES AS MUCH AS THE OTHER----" =Customer= (_turning upon him_). "O, THEN IF I TAKE THIS SHILLING BOTTLE, I SHALL BE DONE OUT OF HALF MY MONEY'S WORTH! THEN I WON'T HAVE ANY!" _Escapes in triumph!_ Illustration: Distracting. =Customer.= "WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE BISHOP'S SERMON ON SUNDAY, MR. WIGSBY?" =Hairdresser.= "WELL, REALLY, SIR, THERE WAS A GENT A-SETTIN' IN FRONT O' ME AS 'AD HIS 'AIR PARTED THAT CROOKED I COULDN'T 'EAR A WORD!" Illustration: A Compliment. =Hairdresser.= "ANY OFF THE BEARD, SIR?" =Customer.= "NO, THANK YOU. I'VE LATELY TRIMMED IT MYSELF." =Hairdresser.= "INDEED, SIR! I SHOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT ANY GENTLEMAN OUT OF THE PROFESSION COULD HAVE DONE IT SO WELL!!" Illustration: XXX Cellent Reasons. =Free and Independent= (_to wavering_) =Elector=. "YOU DON'T ADMIRE HIS POLITICS? POLITICS BE BLOWED! LOOK AT HIS PRINCIPLES! THAT MAN ALLUS BREWS FIVE-AND-TWENTY BUSHELS TO THE HOGSHEAD!" Illustration: Sympathy. =Giles= (_ruefully_). "VILLIAM, I'VE BEEN AN' GONE AN' 'LISTED!" =William.= "LOR'! 'AVE YER, THOUGH? GOT THE SHILLIN'?" =Giles.= "YES." =William.= "WELL, THEN, LET'S GO AN' 'AVE A GLASS AT THE 'BARLEY-MOW.' DON'T LET'S BE DOWN'EARTED!" Illustration: Liberal to a Fault. =the missus= (_affably_). "MY 'USBAN'S OUT JUST NOW, SIR. CAN I GIVE HIM ANY MESSAGE?" =liberal candidate.= "AH--I HAVE CALLED WITH THE HOPE THAT--AH--HE'D PROMISE ME HIS VOTE AT THE APPROACH----" =the missus.= "OH, YES, SIR. YOU'RE CAP'M BILKE, THE 'YALLOW,' I S'POSE, SIR! YES, I'M SURE HE'LL BE MOST 'APPY, SIR!" =the captain= (_delighted_). "YA-AS--I SHALL BE MUCH OBLIGED TO HIM--AND--AH--HE MAY DEPEND UPON MY----" =the missus.= "YES, I'M SURE HE'D PROMISE YOU IF HE WAS AT HOME, SIR; 'CAUSE WHEN THE TWO 'BLUE' GENTS CALLED AND AS'ED HIM THE OTHER DAY, SIR, HE PROMISED 'EM D'REC'LY, SIR!!"