Illustration: The Connoisseurs. =Groom.= "WHEW'S BEER DO YOU LIKE BEST--THIS 'ERE HOM'BREWED O' FISK'S, OR THAT THERE ALE THEY GIVES YER AT THE WHITE HO'S?" =Keeper= (_critically_). "WELL, O' THE TEW I PREFERS THIS 'ERE. THAT THERE O' WUM'OOD'S DON'T FARE TO ME TO TASTE O' NAWTHUN AT ALL. NOW THIS 'ERE DEW TASTE O' THE CASK!!" Illustration: "Io Bacche!" =Jeames.= "MORNIN', MR. JARVICE. WHAT'S THE NEWS?" =Mr. J.= (_the old Coachman_). "WELL, I'VE 'EARD THE BEST BIT O' NEWS THIS MORNING AS I'VE 'EARD FOR MANY A DAY, FROM OUR BUTLER. HE TELL ME THE WIN'YARDS IS 'A COMIN' ROUND,' AND THERE'S EVERY PROSPEC' OF OUR GETTIN' SOME MORE GOOD MADEIRY!!" Illustration: A Veteran. =Civil Service Captain.= "WILL--HE--AH--STAND POW-DAR?" =Dealer.= "'POWDER?' WHY HE WAS ALL THROUGH THE BATTLE O' WATERLOO THAT CHARGER WAS!!" Illustration: "What's the Odds?" =Purchaser.= "HE'S RATHER HEAVY ABOUT THE HEAD, ISN'T HE?" =Dealer= (_can't deny it_). "WELL, SIR! (_Happy thought._) BUT Y'SEE, SIR, HE'LL HEV TO CARRY IT HISSELF!" Illustration: _"There's Many a Slip" &c._ WAGGLES SAW A SPLENDID THREE-POUND TROUT FEEDING IN A QUIET PLACE ON THE THAMES ONE EVENING LAST WEEK. DOWN HE COMES THE NEXT NIGHT, MAKING SURE OF HIM! BUT SOME OTHER PEOPLE HAD SEEN HIM TOO!!! Illustration: _Lingua "East Anglia."_ =First Angler= (_to Country Boy_). "I SAY, MY LAD, JUST GO TO MY FRIEND ON THE BRIDGE THERE, AND SAY I SHOULD BE MUCH OBLIGED TO HIM IF HE'D SEND ME SOME BAIT." =Country Boy= (_to Second Angler, in the Eastern Counties language_). "THA' THERE BO' SAHY HE WANT A WURRUM!!" Illustration: _A Luxurious Habit._ =Philanthropist= (_to Railway Porter_). "THEN WHAT TIME DO YOU GET TO BED?" =Porter.= "WELL, I SELDOM WHAT YER MAY CALL GETS TO BED MYSELF, 'CAUSE O' THE NIGHT TRAINS. BUT MY BROTHER, AS USED TO WORK THE P'INTS FURTHER DOWN THE LINE, WENT TO BED LAST CHRISTMAS AFTER THE ACCIDENT, AND NEVER----" _Train rushes in, and the Parties rush off._ Illustration: _The Golden Age Restored._ =Young Lady= (_Through Passenger, at West Riding Station_). "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE TO-DAY, PORTER? HAS THERE BEEN A FÊTE?" =Porter= (_astonished_). "BLESS THEE, LASS! THERE'S NEA FEIGHTIN' NOO-A-DAYS; 'T'S AGIN T' LA-AW!--NOBBUT A FLOOER-SHOW!" Illustration: "No Accounting for Taste." =Materfamilias= (_just arrived at Shrimpville--the Children had been down a Month before_). "WELL, JANE, HAVE YOU FOUND IT DULL?" =Nurse.= "IT WAS AT FUST, M'M. THERE WAS NOTHINK TO IMPROVE THE MIND, M'M, TILL THE NIGGERS COME DOWN!!" Illustration: Sold Cheap. =Little Brown= (_to "Nigger Minstrel," who always addresses his listeners as "My Lord"_). "AH, HOW DID YOU KNOW MY----AH--HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS A LORD?" _Sensation among the bystanders!_ =Minstrel.= "BLESS YER, MY LORD, I NEVER LOSE SIGHT O' MY SCHOOLFELLERS!" _Roars of laughter. Little B. caves in, and bolts!_ Illustration: Selling Him a Pennyworth. =Philanthropist.= "THERE'S A PENNY FOR YOU, MY LAD. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT?"