=Sweeper.= "WHAT ALL THIS AT ONCE! I'LL TOSS YER FOR IT, DOUBLE OR QUITS!" Illustration: A Change for the Better. =Greengrocer.= "WANT A PENN'ORTH O' COALS, DO YER? YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO 'AVE A PENN'ORTH MUCH LONGER. THEY'RE A GOING UP. COALS IS COALS NOW, I CAN TELL YER!" =Boy.= "AH, WELL, MOTHER'LL BE GLAD O' THAT, 'CAUSE SHE SAYS THE LAST COALS SHE HAD O' YOU WAS ALL SLATES!!" Illustration: _Colloquial Equivalents._ =Papa.= "NOW, MY DEAR GIRLS, YOUR BROTHER IS RECEIVING A MOST EXPENSIVE EDUCATION, AND I THINK THAT WHILE HE IS AT HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS YOU SHOULD TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING FROM HIM." =Emily.= "SO WE DO, 'PA. WE'VE LEARNT THAT A BOY WHO CRIES IS A 'BLUB,' THAT A BOY WHO WORKS HARD IS A 'SWOT'"---- =Flora.= "YES, AND THAT ANYBODY YOU DON'T LIKE IS A 'CAD;' AND WE KNOW THE MEANING OF 'GRUB,' 'PROG,' AND A 'WAX'" Illustration: "The Meat Supply." =Bathing-Man.= "YES, MUM, HE'S A GOOD OLD 'ORSE YET. AND HE'S BEEN IN THE SALT WATER SO LONG, HE'LL MAKE CAPITAL BILED BEEF WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH HIM!!!" Illustration: "_Tracts._" =First Navvy.= "T' NEW MISSION-ARY GAVE ME THIS 'ERE TRACK JUST NOW, BILL." =Second Navvy.= "AIN'T SEEN HIM. WHAT LOIKE IS HE?" =First Navvy.= "LITTLE CHAP--PREACHES ABOUT EIGHT STUN TEN, I SHOULD GUESS!" Illustration: "_A Ticket of Leave_." =Swell= (_who won't be done_). "H'YARS MY KYARD IF YOU'D--AH--LIKE TO SUMMON ME." =Cabby= (_who has pulled up and heard the dispute_). "DON'T YOU TAKE IT, BILL. IT'S HIS TICKET O' LEAVE!" Illustration: A Pleasant Prospect. =Traveller= (_in Ireland_). "HI,--PULL HER UP, MAN! DON'T YOU SEE THE MARE IS RUNNING AWAY?" =Paddy.= "HOULD TIGHT, YER 'ONOR! FOR YER LIFE DON'T TOUCH THE REINS!--SURE THEY'RE AS ROTTEN AS PEARS! I'LL TURN HER INTO THE RIVER AT THE BRIDGE BELOW HERE. SURE THAT'LL STOP HER, THE BLAGYARD!" Illustration: Reassuring. =Traveller in Ireland= (_rheumatic, and very particular_). "NOW, I HOPE THE SHEETS ARE CLEAN!" =Kathleen= (_the Chambermaid_). "CLANE, SOR? SHURE THEY'RE JUST _DAMP_ FROM THE MANGLE, SOR!!" Illustration: _Woman's Rights._ =Scotch Lady= (_who has taken a House in the Highlands, her Servants suddenly giving "warning"_). "WHAT'S THE REASON OF THIS? HAVE YOU NOT ALL YOU WANT?--GOOD ROOMS, AND GOOD FRESH AIR AND FOOD, AND EASY WORK?" =Spokeswoman.= "YES, MEM--BUT--BUT THERE'S NO A DECENT LAAD WITHIN CRY O' US!" Illustration: "_Canny._" =Sportsman.= "THAT'S A TOUGH OLD FELLOW, JEMMY?" =Keeper.= "AY, SIR, A GRAND BIRD TO SEND TO YOUR FREENS!" Illustration: _Stern Pulpit Critics._ =First Scot.= "FAT SORT O' MINISTER HAE YE GOTTEN, GEORDIE?" =Second Ditto.= "OH, WEEL, HE'S NO MUCKLE WORTH. WE SELDOM GET A GLINT O' HIM. SAX DAYS O' TH' WEEK HE'S ENVEES'BLE, AND ON THE SEVENTH HE'S ENCOMPREHENS'BLE!!" Illustration: The Commissariat. =Squire= (_to new Butler_). "I HAVE THREE OR FOUR CLERGYMEN COMING TO DINE WITH ME TO-MORROW, PRODGERS, AND----" =Mr. Prodgers.= "'IGH OR LOW, SIR?"