=Country Gent= (_lately retired_). "O, 'ES, S'POSED TO ANSWER. Y' SEE THERE'S THE ORIGINAL COST OF THE FOWLS--'F COURSE THE FOOD GOES DOWN TO ME, Y' KNOW. WELL, THEN, I PURCHASE THE EGGS FROM THE CHILDREN, AND THEY EAT THEM!!!" Illustration: Rather too Literal. =Country Gentleman= (_in a rage_). "WHY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO, YOU IDIOT! YOU'VE LET HIM DOWN, AND----" =New Groom.= "YES, YER HONNER, YE TOULD ME TO BREAK HIM; AN' BRUK HE IS, KNEES AN' ALL, WORSE LUCK!" Illustration: "Bon Voyage!" =Mossu= (_shot into a nice soft loam_) _exultingly_. "A--HA--A! I AM SAFE O-VÈRE! NOW IT IS YOUR TURN, MEESTER TIMBRE JOMPRE! COME ON, SABE!" Illustration: "Fiat Experimentum," &c. =The Rector.= "GOOD MORNING, MRS. SMITHERS. HOW'S THE BABY? ISN'T IT RATHER EARLY TO BRING HIM TO CHURCH? DON'T YOU THINK HE'LL BE RESTLESS?" =Mrs. Smithers.= "O, NO, SIR, HE'LL BE QUIET, SIR, WHICH WE TOOK HIM TO THE METHODIS' CHAPEL LAST SUNDAY O' PURPOSE TO TRY HIM, SIR!" Illustration: Irreverent. =Policeman= (_on the occasion of our "Confirmation"_). "STOP! STOP! GO BACK! YOU MUSTN'T COME IN HERE! WE'RE EXPECTIN' O' THE BISHOP EVERY MINUTE!" =Cabby= (_fortissimo_). "ALL RIGHT! WHY'VE GOT THE OLD BUFFER INSIDE!" Illustration: Wet and Dry. =Careful Wife.= "ARE YOU VERY WET, DEAR?" =Ardent Angler= (_turning up his flask_). "NO; DRY AS A LIME-KILN--HAVEN'T HAD A DROP THESE TWO HOURS!" Illustration: "_Not so Fast!_" =Old Gent.= (_soliloquising, in the Wilds of Glenmuchie_). "AH, WELL, THIS IS VERY JOLLY! WEALTH'S A GREAT BLESSING--NOT THAT I'M A RICH MAN--BUT AFTER THE TURMOIL AND WORRY OF BUSINESS, TO BE ABLE TO RETIRE TO THESE CHARMING SOLITUDES, THE SILENCE ONLY BROKEN BY THE GRATEFUL SOUNDS OF THE RIPPLING STREAM ('BURN,' I MEAN. AH! I NEARLY HAD HIM THEN!), AND THE HUM OF THE BEE! TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE LONDON AND ITS TIRESOME MILLIONS, AND FORGET ALL THE LOW----" =Voice from the Bridge= (_the ubiquitous "'Arry"_). "COULD YER 'BLIGE US WITH A WORM, GOV'NOUR?"!! Illustration: Banting in the Yeomanry. =Troop-Sergeant Major.= "IT COMES TO THIS, CAPTAIN, 'A MUN E'THER HEV' A NEW JACKET OR KNOCK OFF ONE O' MY MEALS!" Illustration: Something from the Provinces. =Excursionist= (_politely_). "CAN YOU KINDLY DIRECT ME THE NEAREST WAY TO SLAGLEY?" =Powerful Navvy.= "AH CAN POONCH TH' HEAD O' THEE!" _Excursionist retires hastily._ Illustration: "Ways and Means." =First Country Gentleman.= "'MEAN HUNTING THIS WINTER, CHARLIE?" =Second Country Gentleman= (_doubtfully_). "'SHALL TRY AND 'WORK' IT." =First Country Gentleman.= "HOW?" =Second Country Gentleman.= "GIVE UP THE UNDER-NURSE, I THINK." Illustration: Blank Firing. =Ancient Sportsman= (_whose Sight is not what it used to be_). "PICK 'EM UP, JAMES, PICK 'EM UP! WHY DON'T YOU PICK 'EM UP?" =Veteran Keeper.= "'CAUSE THERE BEAN'T ANY DOWN, MY LORD!" CONTENTS. PAGE Adjustment 25