=Bonsor= (_down upon little Stannery, who's a great boaster about his "Swell" acquaintance, and his extensive "Travel," and this year especially, down Palestine way_). "DID YOU SEE THE DARDANELLES?" =Stannery.= "EH! THE--EH? OH, YE'--YES! JOLLY FELLARS AS EVER I MET! DINED WITH 'EM AT VIENNAH!" _Little S. has left the Club._ Illustration: Quantity not Quality. =Brown, Senior.= "WELL, FRED, WHAT DID YOU SEE DURING YOUR TRIP ABROAD?" =Brown, Junior.= "AW--'PON M'WORD, 'DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAW 'XACTLY, 'ONLY KNOW I DID MORE BY THREE COUNTRIES, EIGHT TOWNS, AND FOUR MOUNTAINS, THAN SMITH DID IN THE SAME TIME!" Illustration: "A Woman of Business." =Husband= (_who has been on the Continent, and left his Wife some Blank Cheques_). "MY DEAR LOUISA, I FIND YOU HAVE CONSIDERABLY OVERDRAWN AT THE BANK!" =Wife.= "O, NONSENSE, WILLY, HOW CAN THAT BE? WHY, I'VE TWO OF THOSE BLANK CHEQUES LEFT YET!!" Illustration: "Reason in Woman." =Young Wife.= "GEORGE, DEAR, I'VE HAD A TALK WITH THE SERVANTS THIS MORNING, AND I'VE AGREED TO RAISE THEIR WAGES. THEY SAID EVERYTHING WAS SO DEAR NOW--MEAT WAS SO HIGH, AND COALS HAD RISEN TO SUCH A PRICE, AND EVERYTHING----I THOUGHT THIS WAS REASONABLE, BECAUSE I'VE SO OFTEN HEARD YOU COMPLAIN OF THE SAME THING." Illustration: "Our Failures." =Husband.= "I SAY, LIZZIE, WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU MAKE THIS MINT-SAUCE OF?" =Young Wife= (_who has been "helping" Cook_). "PARSLEY, TO BE SURE!" Illustration: "_Where there's a Will there's a Way!_" =Cook.= "PLEASE, 'M, I WISHES TO GIVE WARNING----" =Mistress= (_surprised_). "WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?" =Cook.= "THE FACT IS, MUM, I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED!" =Mistress.= "WHY, COOK, I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE ENGAGED!" =Cook.= "WHICH I HAM NOT AZACTLY ENGAGED AS YET, MUM; BUT I FEELS MYSELF TO BE OF THAT 'APPY DISPOSITION AS I COULD LOVE HANY MAN, MUM!" Illustration: "_Satisfactory!_" =Mistress.= "WELL, JESSIE, I'M GOING INTO NAIRNE, AND WILL SEE YOUR MOTHER. CAN I GIVE HER ANY MESSAGE FROM YOU?" =Jessie= (_her first "place"_). "OU, MEM, YE CAN JUST SAY I'M UNCO' WEEL PLEASED WI' YE!!" Illustration: "_Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!_" =Young Mistress= (_gravely; she had seen an affectionate parting at the garden-gate_). "I SEE YOU'VE GOT A YOUNG MAN, JANE!" =Jane= (_apologetically_). "ONLY WALKED OUT WITH HIM ONCE, M'UM!" =Mistress.= "O, BUT I THOUGHT I SAW--DIDN'T YOU--DIDN'T HE--TAKE A KISS, JANE?" =Jane.= "O, M'M, ONLY AS A FRIEND, M'M!!" Illustration: "_The Way we Build now._" =Indignant Houseowner= (_he had heard it was so much cheaper, in the end, to buy your House_). "WH' WHAT'S THE--WHAT AM I!--WHA'--WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE IS THE MEANING OF THIS, MR. SCAMPLING!?" =Local Builder.= "T' TUT, TUT! WELL, SIR, I 'SPECTS SOME ONE'S BEEN A-LEANIN' AGIN IT!!" Illustration: "In the Long Run." =Town Gent.= "NOW DO YOU FIND KEEPING POULTRY ANSWERS?"