=Middle-Aged Uncle.= "NOT PROPOSED TO HER YET! WHY, WHAT A SHILLY-SHALLYING FELLOW YOU ARE, GEORGE! YOU'LL HAVE THAT LITTLE WIDOW SNAPPED UP FROM UNDER YOUR NOSE, AS SURE AS YOU'RE BORN! PRETTY GAL LIKE THAT--NICE LITTLE PROPERTY--EVIDENTLY LIKES YOU--WITH AN ESTATE IN THE HIGHLANDS, TOO, AND YOU A SPORTING MAN----" =Nephew.= "AH! THAT'S WHERE IT IS, UNCLE! HER FISHING'S GOOD, I KNOW; BUT I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT HER _GROUSE_!" Illustration: _No Mistake, this Time._ =Lodger.= "DEAR ME, MRS. CRIBBLES, YOUR CAT'S BEEN AT THIS MUTTON AGAIN!" =Landlady.= "OH NO, MUM, IT CAN'T BE THE CAT. MY 'USBAND SAYS HE B'LIEVES IT'S THE COLLERLARDA BEETLE!" Illustration: _State o' Trade._ =Small Girl.= "PLEASE, MRS. GREENSTOUGH, MOTHER SAYS WILL YOU GIVE HER A LETTUCE?" =Mrs. G.= "GIVE?! TELL THEE MOTHER GIV'UM'S DEAD, AND LENDUM'S VERY BAD. NOTHINK FOR NOTHINK 'ERE, AND PRECIOUS LITTLE FOR SIX-PENCE!!" Illustration: "Let Well Alone!" =Swell.= "AH--WHAT'S YOUR FARE TO HAMPSTEAD BY THE--AH--NEW LAW?!" =Cabby.= "OH, I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' 'BOUT NO NEW LAWS, SIR!--SAME OLD FARE, SIR--'LEAVE IT TO YOU,' SIR!" Illustration: "_Le Jeu ne Vaut pas la Chandelle._" =Old Gent= (_having had to pay twice_). "BUT I'M POSITIVE I HANDED YOU THE MONEY! IT MAY PROBABLY HAVE DROPPED DOWN THE SLIT IN THE DOOR!" =Conductor.= "SLIT IN THE DOOR!--WELL, 'TAIN'T LIKELY I'M GOIN' TO TURN THE BUS UPSIDE-DOWN FOR SIXPENCE!" Illustration: "Tho' Lost to Sight----" =Aunt Jemima= (_from the country--her first experience of a "Hansom"_). "HOY! HOY! STOP THE HORSE! WHERE'S THE COACHMAN!" Illustration: Precise. =Driver= (_impatient_). "NOW, BILL, WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?" =Conductor.= "GE'TLEMAN WANTS TO BE PUT DOWN AT NO. 20 A IN CLARINGDON SQUARE, FUST PORTICO ON THE RIGHT AFTER YOU PASS THE 'RED LION,' PRIVATE ENTRANCE ROUND THE CORNER!" =Driver.= "O, CERTAINLY! ASK THE GE'TLEMAN IF WE SHALL DRIVE UP-STAIRS, AN' SET 'IM DOWN AT 'IS BED-ROOM DOOR IN THE THREE-PAIR BACK?" Illustration: _An Extensive Order._ "O, PLEASE, MISS, WILL YOU GIVE US TWO 'A'PENNIES FOR A PENNY, AND GI' ME A DRINK O' WATER, AN' TELL US THE RIGHT TIME? AN' FATHER WANTS A PIPE; AND LEND MOTHER YESTERDAY'S _'TIZER_."!!! Illustration: "_No such Luck._" =Young Lady.= "IS IT HUNGRY, THEN? COME ALONG, LITTLE DARLING, IT SHALL HAVE ITS DINNER." =Street-Sweeper= (_overhearing, and misapplying_). "HERE Y'ARE, MISS! RIGHT YOU ARE! I JEST AM!" _Ah! but it was Fido she was speaking to!_ Illustration: "_'Tis Better not to Know._" =Impudent Boy= (_generally_). "TRY YER WEIGHT--ONLY A PENNY!" (_To Lady of commanding proportions in particular._) "TELL YER 'XACT WEIGHT TO A HOUNCE, MUM!" Illustration: _Vested Interests._ =Sweeper.= "IF YOU DON'T GET OFF MY CROSSIN', I'LL 'EV YOUR NUMBER!" Illustration: "_Chaff._" =Apple-Stall Keeper= (_to the Boys_). "NOW, THEN, WHAT ARE YOU GAPING AT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" =Street Boy.= "NOTHIN'." =Apple-Stall Keeper.= "THEN TAKE IT, AND BE OFF!"