=Uncle George= (_who has been amusing the Young People with some clever Conjuring_). "NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU SAW ME BURN THE HANDKERCHIEF.--WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED TO FIND--(_Roars of Laughter_)--I SHALL PRODUCE THE ORANGE OUR YOUNG FRIEND HERE WAS SO OBLIGING AS TO OFFER TO TAKE CARE OF, AND INSIDE WHICH, I'VE NO DOUBT, WE SHALL FIND THE SHILLING?!" Illustration: Breaking the Ice. =Sprightly Lady.= "MR. DORMERS, WOULD YOU OBLIGE ME WITH----" =Bashful Curate= (_who had scarcely spoken to his Fair Neighbour_). "O, CERTAINLY. WHAT SHALL I HAVE THE PLEASURE TO OFFER?----" =Lady.= "----A REMARK!!" Illustration: The First Sermon. =Aunt.= "WELL, DAISY, HOW DID YOU LIKE 'CHURCH' YESTERDAY?" =Daisy.= "O, AUNTY, THEY WERE ALL SO QUIET AND LOOKED SO CROSS, I THOUGHT I MUST 'A' SCREAMED!!" Illustration: "Sweet is Revenge, Especially to Women!" CAPTAIN OGLEBY, WHO ANNOYS THE MISS LANKYSTERS SO MUCH ON THE PROMENADE BY HIS OBTRUSIVE ADMIRATION, IS DISCOVERED EARLY ONE MORNING, BY HIS EXULTANT VICTIMS, IN THE ACT OF HAVING AN "EASY SHAVE" IN THE SOMEWHAT LIMITED PREMISES OF THE VILLAGE FIGARO. Illustration: Desperate Case! =M. A.= (_endeavouring to instil Euclid into the mind of Private Pupil going into the Army_). "NOW, IF THE THREE SIDES OF THIS TRIANGLE ARE ALL EQUAL, WHAT WILL HAPPEN?" =Pupil= (_confidently_). "WELL, SIR, I SHOULD SAY THE FOURTH WOULD BE EQUAL, TOO!!" Illustration: Exchange! =Togswell= (_in the Washing Room at the Office, proceeding to dress for the De Browney's Dinner-Party_). "HULLO! WHAT THE DOOCE"--(_Pulling out, in dismay, from black bag, a pair of blue flannel Tights, a pink striped Jersey, and a spiked canvas Shoe._)--"CONFOUND IT! YES!--I MUST HAVE TAKEN THAT FELLOW'S BAG WHO SAID HE WAS GOING TO THE ATHLETIC SPORTS THIS AFTERNOON, AND HE'S GOT MINE WITH MY DRESS CLOTHES!!" Illustration: _A Degenerate Son._ =The Governor= (_indignantly_). "GEORGE, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU! I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU KNEW BETTER! IT'S DISGRACEFUL! IS IT FOR THIS I'VE PAID HUNDREDS OF POUNDS TO GIVE YOU AN UNIVERSITY EDUCATION, THAT YOU SHOULD----" =Son and Heir= (_with cigar_). "WHY--WHAT HAVE I DONE, GOVERNOR?" =The Governor.= "DONE? DARED TO SMOKE, SIR, WHILE YOU ARE _DRINKING MY '34 PORT_!!" Illustration: _Lucid!_ =Irish Sergeant= (_to Squad at Judging-Distance Drill_). "NOW, YE'LL PAY THE GREATEST OF ATTINTION TO THE MAN AT EIGHT HUNDRED YAR-RDS: BECASE, IF YE CAN'T SEE 'M, YE'LL BE DECEIVED IN HIS 'APPARANCE!!" Illustration: _The Riding Lesson._ =Riding Master= (_to Sub, who is qualifying himself for the Punjaub Cavalry_). "IF YER 'EAD WAS ONLY TURNED THE OTHER WAY, WHAT A SPLENDID CHEST YOU'D 'AVE, MR. BOWDRIB!" Illustration: _Look before you Leap._