Banks and banking -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories
Poor Clement! There are situations in which it is hard to play the
hero, and he found himself in one of them. He had vowed that there
should be no more meetings and no more love-making until he had faced
and conquered his dragon. But meanwhile the dragon lay sick and blind
at the bottom of its den, guarded by its very weakness from attack,
while every hour and every day that saw nothing done seemed to remove
Clement farther from his mistress, seemed to set a greater distance
between them, seemed to blacken his face in her eyes.
Yet what could he do? How could he wrest himself from the inaction—it
must seem to her the ignoble inaction—which pressed upon him? She
watched—he pictured her watching from her tower, or more precisely from
the terraced garden at Garth, for the deliverance which did not come,
for the knight whose trumpet never sounded! She watched, while he, weak
and shiftless, hung back in uncertainty, the inefficient he had ever
been!
Ay, that he had ever been! It was that which hurt him. It was the sense
of that which wasted his spirits as sorely as the impatience, the
fever, of thwarted love. The spell of vigor which had for a few days
lifted him out of himself, and given him the force to meet and to
impress his fellows, had not only failed to win any real advantage, but
failing, it had left him less self-reliant than before. For he saw now
where he had failed. He saw that with the winning-card in his hand he
had allowed himself to be defeated by Arthur, and to be jockeyed out of
all the fruits of his labor, simply because he had lacked the moral
courage, the hardness of fibre, the stiffness to stand by his own!
And he feared that it would ever be so. Arthur had got the better of
him, and the knowledge depressed him to the ground. He was not a man.
He was a weakling, a dreamer, good for neither one thing nor another!
As useless outside the bank as at his desk, below and not above the
daily tasks that he secretly despised.
Yet what could he do? What was it in his power to do? He asked himself
that question a hundred times. He could not force himself on the
Squire, ill and confined to his bed as he was—and be sure, Arthur did
not make the best of his uncle’s condition. He could only wait, though
to wait was intolerable. He could only wait, while poor Josina first
doubted, then despaired! Wait while first hope, and then faith, and in
the end love died in her breast! Wait, till she thought herself
abandoned!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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