In these tame and tedious days of the policeman rampant, our melancholy
selves are debarred from many a sport, joyous and debonair, whereof our
happier fathers were free. Book-stealing, to be sure, remains to us;
but every one is not a collector; and, besides, ’tis a diversion you
can follow with equal success all the year round. Still, the instance
may haply be pregnant with suggestion to many who wearily ask each
year, what new place or pursuit exhausted earth still keeps for the
holiday-maker. ’Tis a sad but sober fact, that the most of men lead
flat and virtuous lives, departing annually with their family to some
flat and virtuous place, there to disport themselves in a manner that
is decent, orderly, wholly uninteresting, vacant of every buxom
stimulus. To such as these a suggestion, in all friendliness: why not
try crime? We shall not attempt to specify the particular branch—for
every one must himself seek out and find the path his nature best fits
him to follow; but the general charm of the prospect must be evident to
all. The freshness and novelty of secrecy, the artistic satisfaction in
doing the act of self-expression as well as it can possibly be done;
the experience of being not the hunter, but the hunted, not the
sportsman, but the game; the delight of comparing and discussing crimes
with your mates over a quiet pipe on your return to town; these new
pleasures—these and their like—would furnish just that gentle
stimulant, that peaceful sense of change so necessary to the tired
worker. And then the fact, that you would naturally have to select and
plan out your particular line of diversion without advice or
assistance, has its own advantage. For the moment a man takes to
dinning in your ears that you ought, you really ought, to go to Norway,
you at once begin to hate Norway with a hate that ever will be; and to
have Newlyn, Cromer, or Dawlish, Carinthia or the Austrian Tyrol jammed
down your throat, is enough to initiate the discovery that your own
individual weakness is a joyous and persistent liking for manslaughter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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