There are practical difficulties in the way of the adoption of such
methods at home. We must be content to envy, without imitating, these
free and happy sons of the hills. And yet a few of the old school are
left us still: averse from change, mistrustful of progress, sticking
steadily to the good old-fashioned dagger and bowl. I had a friend who
disposed of a relative every spring. Uncles were his special line—(he
had suffered much from their tribe, having been early left an
orphan)—though he had dabbled in aunts, and in his hot youth, when he
was getting his hand in, he had even dallied with a grand-parent or
two. But it was in uncles he excelled. He possessed (at the beginning
of his career) a large number of these connections, and pursuit of
them, from the mere sordid point of view of _£ s. d.,_ proved
lucrative. But he always protested (and I believed him) that gain with
him was a secondary consideration. It would hardly be in the public
interest to disclose his _modus operandi._ I shall only remark that he
was one of the first to realise the security and immunity afforded the
artist by the conditions of modern London. Hence it happened that he
usually practised in town, but spent his vacations at the country
houses of such relations as were still spared him, where he was always
the life and soul of the place. Unfortunately he is no longer with us,
to assist in the revision of this article: nor was it permitted me to
soothe his last moments. The presiding Sheriff was one of those
new-fangled officials who insist on the exclusion of the public, and he
declined to admit me either in the capacity of a personal connection
or, though I tried my hardest, as the representative of “The National
Observer.” It only remains to be said of my much-tried and still
lamented friend, that he left few relatives to mourn his untimely end.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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