Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
A habit is so easily formed, so strong to compel. There are few
parents who would not labour diligently if for every month’s labour
they were able to endow one of their children with £1000. But, in a
month, a parent may form a habit in his child of such infinite value
that your thousand pounds is a mere bagatelle by comparison. We have
often urged that the great discovery which modern science has brought
to the aid of the educator is, that every habit of the life sets up, as
it were, a material record in the brain tissues. We all know that we
think as we are used to think and act as we are used to act. Ever since
man began to notice the ways of his own mind this law of habit has been
matter of common knowledge, and has been more or less acted upon by
parents and other trainers of children. The well brought-up child has
always been a child carefully trained in good habits. But it is only
within our own day that it has been possible to lay down definite laws
for the formation of habits. Until now, the mother who wished to train
her children in such and such a good habit has found herself hindered
by a certain sense of casualty. “I am sure I am always telling her”--to
keep her drawers neat, or to hold up her head and speak nicely, or to
be quick and careful about an errand,--says the poor mother, with tears
in her eyes; and indeed this, of “always telling” him or her is a weary
process for the mother; dull, because hopeless. She goes on “telling”
to deliver her own soul, for she has long since ceased to expect any
result; and we know how dreary is work without hope. But, perhaps
even his mother does not know how unutterably dreary is this “always
telling,” which produces nothing, to the child. At first he is fretful
and impatient under the patter of idle words; then he puts up with
the inevitable, but comes at last hardly to be aware that the thing is
being said. As for any impression on his character, any habit really
formed, all this labour is without result; the child does the thing
when he cannot help it and evades as often as he can. And the poor
disappointed mother says, “I’m sure I’ve tried as much as any mother
to train my children in good habits, but I have failed.” She is not
altogether dispirited, however. The children have not the habits she
wished to train them in, but they grow up warm-hearted, good-natured,
bright young people, by no means children to be ashamed of. All the
same, the mother’s sense of failure is a monition to be trusted. Our
failures in life are, perhaps, due, for the most part, to the defects
of our qualities, and, therefore, it is not enough to send children
into the world with just the inheritance of character they get from
their parents.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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