Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
I. _Pseudophobia._ Janet _thinks_ she _may_ have glanced at Mary’s
slate, and seen the answer to her sum. A comparison of the two slates
shows that she has not done so, and that Janet, in the effort to
save herself from a lie, has actually told one. This sort of morbid
conscientiousness is Argus-eyed for other forms of sin. We knew a
sick girl of fourteen, who was terribly unhappy because she was not
able to kneel up in bed when she said her prayers. Was this the
“unpardonable sin”? she asked, in unaffected terror. We agree with
the writer in question, as to the frequent occurrence of this form
of distress, and also in tracing it, not to moral, but to physical
causes. We should say, too, it is more common in girls than in boys,
and in the home-taught than in the school-taught child. Healthy
interests, out-of-door life, engrossing and delightful handiworks,
general occupation with things rather than with thoughts, and avoidance
of any word or hint that may lead to self-consciousness or the habit
of introspection, will probably do much to carry the young sufferer
through a difficult stage of life.
II. _The Lie Heroic._ The lie heroic is, _par excellence_, the
schoolboy’s lie, and has its rise, not in any love for lying, but in a
want of moral balance; that is to say, the boy has been left to form
his own code of ethics.
Who spilled the ink? little Tom Brown is asked. “I did,” he says;
because Jack Spender, the real culprit, is his particular hero at the
moment. Faithfulness to a friend is a far higher virtue in Tom’s eyes
than mere barren truthfulness. And how is Tom to know, if he has not
been taught, that it is unlawful to cherish one virtue at the expense
of another. Considering how little clear, definite, authoritative
teaching children receive on ethical questions, the wonder is that most
persons do elaborate some kind of moral code, or code of honour, for
themselves.
III. _Truth for friends, lies for enemies._ A lie under this head
differs from the lie heroic chiefly in that it need not bring any risk
to the speaker. This class of lies again points to the moral ignorance
which we are slow to recognise in children because we confound
innocence with virtue. It is quite natural for a child to believe that
truth is relative, and not absolute, and that whether a lie is a lie
or not depends on whom you are speaking to. The children are in the
position of “jesting Pilate.” What is truth? they unconsciously ask.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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