Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
There is another aspect of the subject of heredity and the duties it
entails. As the child of long lineage may well inherit much of what
was best in his ancestors--fine physique, clear intellect, high moral
worth--so also he has his risks. As some one puts it, not all the women
have been brave, nor all the men chaste. We know how the tendency to
certain forms of disease runs in families. Temper and temperament,
moral and physical nature alike, may come down with a taint. An unhappy
child may, by some odd freak of nature, appear to have left out the
good and taken into him only the unworthy. What can the parents do
in such a case? They may not _re_form him--perhaps that is beyond
human skill and care, once he has become all that is possible to his
nature--but _transform_ him, so that the being he was calculated to
become never develops at all; but another being comes to light blest
with every grace of which he had only the defect. This brings us to a
beneficent law of nature, which underlies the whole subject of early
training, and especially so this case of the child whose mother must
bring him forth a second time into a life of beauty and harmony. To put
it in an old form of words--the words of Thomas à Kempis--what seems
to me the fundamental law of education is no more than this: “Habit
is driven out by habit.” People have always known that “Use is second
nature,” but the reason why, and the scope of the saying, these are
discoveries of recent days.
A child has an odious custom, so constant, that it is his quality, will
be his _character_ if you let him alone; he is spiteful, he is sly,
he is sullen. No one is to blame for it; it was born in him. What are
you to do with such inveterate habit of nature? Just this; treat it as
a bad _habit_, and set up the opposite good habit. Henry is more than
mischievous; he is a malicious little boy. There are always tears in
the nursery, because, with “pinches, nips, and bobs,” he is making some
child wretched. Even his pets are not safe; he has done his canary to
death by poking at it with a stick through the bars of its cage; howls
from his dog, screeches from his cat, betray him in some vicious trick.
He makes fearful faces at his timid little sister; sets traps with
string for the housemaid with her water-cans to fall over; there is no
end to the malicious tricks, beyond the mere savagery of untrained
boyhood, which come to his mother’s ear. What is to be done? “Oh, he
will grow out of it!” say the more hopeful who pin their faith to time.
But many an experienced mother will say, “You can’t cure him; what is
in will out, and he will be a pest to society all his life.” Yet the
child may be cured in a month if the mother will set herself to the
task with both hands and set purpose; at any rate, the cure may be well
begun, and that is half done.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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