But though the compliment implied Inflates me with legitimate pride, It nevertheless can’t be denied That it has a――ahem!――dangerous side. For I’m not so old or melancholic As to be quite proof ’gainst the love of frolic, And there’d be the deu―――― well, a certain risk, If the Lord Chief Justice began to _frisk_. A possibility, I should say, For a peripatetic Lord Chief J. _All_――A possibility, &c. I must keep on myself strict watch and ward, Lest in more than one sense I should be abroad; For the _Themis_ young of America Is a very agreeable girl, they say; She has affable manners――and customs free―― And――_she laughs at wigs!_ Oh! deary me. I must be as careful as careful can be, Lest _I_ should forget Law’s dignitee. ’Tis a sore temptation to throw in the way Of _such_ a susceptible Lord Chief J.! _All_――’Tis a sore temptation, &c. _Punch._ September 1, 1883. ―――― A SUSCEPTIBLE CHANCELLOR. “That is a specimen of the complaints which are poured into the letter-box of a susceptible Chancellor of the Exchequer.”――_Mr. Goschen at the Mansion House._ The cry is still “They come,” and I Could almost wriggle with agony, For while one man would a tax impose, Another, remission would fain propose; One worthy our tea would from duty free. And another would tax up our mild Bohea; While many would gladly change the law, And put the screw upon whisky raw. Which is exasperating, for I’m such a susceptible Chancellor. Then, in the interest of the rats, I’m asked to discourage the spread of cats; While a widow lady whose dog is blind Protests the afflicted should not be fined; The naughty, some say, a tax should pay Whenever they go to see the play; And broadly speaking, the wickeder you, The worse the penance you ought to do. Which is to me distressing, for I’m such a susceptible Chancellor. _The Liverpool Weekly Post._ April 2, 1887. ――――:o:―――― THE SONGS OF THE PROFESSIONS. _The Church._