Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil ServiceLever, Charles
General
Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil Service
Lever, Charles
Fiction
What a headache I have! We have been singing Orange songs for four
hours. I think I hear that odious shake on the word “ba-a-t-tle,” as it
rhymes to “rat--tie,” in old Dan's song. It goes through my brain still;
and tomorrow, at daybreak, we're to run away! Lizzy's bundle is here, in
my room; and Tom Ryan's boat is all ready under the rocks, and we're to
cross the bay. It sounds very rash when one comes to think of it. I'm
sure my Aunt Morse will never forgive it. But Lizzy, all so gentle and
docile as she seems, has a very peremptory way with her; and as she
promises to give me explanations for everything later on, I have agreed
to all. How it blows! There has not been so bad a night since I came
here. If it should be rough to-morrow morning, will she still insist on
going? I 'm a poor sort of sailor at the best of times; but if there's
a sea on, I shall be sick as a dog! And what a situation,--a seasick
bridegroom running off with bis bride! That was a crash! I thought the
old house was going clean away. The ploughs and harrows they 've put on
the roof to keep the slates down perform very wild antics in a storm.
I suppose this is the worst climate in Europe. D. D. said, yesterday,
that the length of the day made the only difference between summer and
winter; and, oh dear! what an advantage does this confer on winter?
Now to bed,--though I'm afraid not to sleep; amid such a racket and
turmoil, rest is out of the question. Who knows when, where, and how I
shall make the next entry in this book? But, as Mr. Dudgeon says, when
he finishes his tumbler, “Such is life! such is life!”
I wonder will Lizzy insist on going on if the weather continues like
this? I'm sure no boatman with a wife and family could be fairly asked
to go out in such a storm. I do not think I would have the right to
induce a poor man to peril his life, and the support of those who depend
upon him, for my own--what shall I call it?--my own gratification,--that
might be for a picnic;--my own,--no, not happiness, because that is a
term of time and continuity;--my own--There goes a chimney, as sure as
fate! How they sleep here through everything! There 's that fellow
who minds the cows snoring through it all in the loft overhead; and he
might, for all he knew, have been squashed under that fall of masonry.
Was that a tap at the door? I thought I heard it twice.
Yes, it was Lizzy. She had not been to bed. She went out as far as
the church rock to see the sea. She says it was grander than she could
describe. There is a faint moon, and the clouds are scudding along, as
though racing against the waves below; but I refuse to go out and
see it, all the same. I 'll turn in, and try to get some sleep before
morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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