Fate intended me for a singularly fortunate man. Properly, I ought to
have been born in June, which being, as is well known, the luckiest
month in all the year for such events, should, by thoughtful parents, be
more generally selected. How it was I came to be born in May, which is,
on the other hand, of all the twelve the most unlucky, as I have proved,
I leave to those more conversant with the subject to explain. An early
nurse, the first human being of whom I have any distinct recollection,
unhesitatingly attributed the unfortunate fact to my natural impatience;
which quality she at the same time predicted would lead me into even
greater trouble, a prophecy impressed by future events with the stamp of
prescience. It was from this same bony lady that I likewise learned the
manner of my coming. It seems that I arrived, quite unexpectedly, two
hours after news had reached the house of the ruin of my father's mines
through inundation; misfortunes, as it was expounded to me, never coming
singly in this world to any one. That all things might be of a piece,
my poor mother, attempting to reach the bell, fell against and broke the
cheval-glass, thus further saddening herself with the conviction--for
no amount of reasoning ever succeeded in purging her Welsh blood of
its natural superstition--that whatever might be the result of future
battles with my evil star, the first seven years of tiny existence had
been, by her act, doomed to disaster.
“And I must confess,” added the knobbly Mrs. Fursey, with a sigh, “it
does look as though there must be some truth in the saying, after all.”
“Then ain't I a lucky little boy?” I asked. For hitherto it had been
Mrs. Fursey's method to impress upon me my exceptional good fortune.
That I could and did, involuntarily, retire to bed at six, while less
happily placed children were deprived of their natural rest until eight
or nine o'clock, had always been held up to me as an astounding piece of
luck. Some little boys had not a bed at all; for the which, in my more
riotous moments, I envied them. Again, that at the first sign of a cold
it became my unavoidable privilege to lunch off linseed gruel and sup
off brimstone and treacle--a compound named with deliberate intent to
deceive the innocent, the treacle, so far as taste is concerned, being
wickedly subordinated to the brimstone--was another example of Fortune's
favouritism: other little boys were so astoundingly unlucky as to be
left alone when they felt ill. If further proof were needed to convince
that I had been signalled out by Providence as its especial protege,
there remained always the circumstance that I possessed Mrs. Fursey
for my nurse. The suggestion that I was not altogether the luckiest of
children was a new departure.
The good dame evidently perceived her error, and made haste to correct
it.
“Oh, you! You are lucky enough,” she replied; “I was thinking of your
poor mother.”
“Isn't mamma lucky?”
“Well, she hasn't been too lucky since you came.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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