“Wasn't it lucky, her having me?”
“I can't say it was, at that particular time.”
“Didn't she want me?”
Mrs. Fursey was one of those well-meaning persons who are of opinion
that the only reasonable attitude of childhood should be that of
perpetual apology for its existence.
“Well, I daresay she could have done without you,” was the answer.
I can see the picture plainly still. I am sitting on a low chair before
the nursery fire, one knee supported in my locked hands, meanwhile Mrs.
Fursey's needle grated with monotonous regularity against her thimble.
At that moment knocked at my small soul for the first time the problem
of life.
Suddenly, without moving, I said:
“Then why did she take me in?”
The rasping click of the needle on the thimble ceased abruptly.
“Took you in! What's the child talking about? Who's took you in?”
“Why, mamma. If she didn't want me, why did she take me in?”
But even while, with heart full of dignified resentment, I propounded
this, as I proudly felt, logically unanswerable question, I was glad
that she had. The vision of my being refused at the bedroom window
presented itself to my imagination. I saw the stork, perplexed and
annoyed, looking as I had sometimes seen Tom Pinfold look when the fish
he had been holding out by the tail had been sniffed at by Anna, and
the kitchen door shut in his face. Would the stork also have gone away
thoughtfully scratching his head with one of those long, compass-like
legs of his, and muttering to himself. And here, incidentally, I fell
a-wondering how the stork had carried me. In the garden I had often
watched a blackbird carrying a worm, and the worm, though no doubt
really safe enough, had always appeared to me nervous and uncomfortable.
Had I wriggled and squirmed in like fashion? And where would the stork
have taken me to then? Possibly to Mrs. Fursey's: their cottage was the
nearest. But I felt sure Mrs. Fursey would not have taken me in; and
next to them, at the first house in the village, lived Mr. Chumdley,
the cobbler, who was lame, and who sat all day hammering boots with
very dirty hands, in a little cave half under the ground, his whole
appearance suggesting a poor-spirited ogre. I should have hated being
his little boy. Possibly nobody would have taken me in. I grew pensive,
thinking of myself as the rejected of all the village. What would the
stork have done with me, left on his hands, so to speak. The reflection
prompted a fresh question.
“Nurse, where did I come from?”
“Why, I've told you often. The stork brought you.”
“Yes, I know. But where did the stork get me from?” Mrs. Fursey paused
for quite a long while before replying. Possibly she was reflecting
whether such answer might not make me unduly conceited. Eventually she
must have decided to run that risk; other opportunities could be relied
upon for neutralising the effect.
“Oh, from Heaven.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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