"Ah, madame, I repeat, I had suffered too much myself not to recognise
the same sufferings in you by indescribable, yet manifest symptoms. With
what eager curiosity did I strive to read your thoughts in your
countenance! The part of the garden that you frequented most was
separated from the rest by a gate which you opened or shut at pleasure.
You alone could enter into this secluded alley. I ventured on a folly;
each day I dropped at the foot of the seat where you were accustomed to
repose, a sort of memento of the reflections which, as I believed, had
agitated you on the previous evening. How shall I describe my suspense,
my anguish, when I saw you first open my letter. Never shall I forget
the expression of surprise you manifested after you had read it. Forgive
these foolish recollections of the past; but I did not think you were
offended, for, instead of destroying the letter, you retained it. One
day your agitation was so great, that you did not perceive the
letter--you seemed a prey to the most violent anger and grief. My own
experience told me that your sorrow was not occasioned by any fresh
event. It seemed to me rather some unhappy occurrence had been recalled
to you. It was under this belief that I again wrote to you, and on the
morrow, whilst you perused my letter, you wept."
Madame de Hansfeld made an impatient gesture.
"Oh, madame, do not blame me for dwelling on these recollections, they
are my sole consolation. Thus encouraged by the anxiety with which you
seemed to look for my letters, I wrote daily. Unhappily, my mother's
illness assumed a threatening form; I never quitted her bedside for two
nights--I thought but of her. The crisis was passed, she was out of
danger. My first thought was then to hasten to my window. Soon after you
entered the walk. I could scarcely believe my eyes when I saw you go
quickly to the marble seat: there was no letter there. An exclamation of
impatience escaped you. I dared to interpret it favourably."
M. de Morville glanced anxiously at Madame de Hansfeld. Her eyes were
cast down, her arms folded, her face was devoid of expression. In thus
speaking, in thus informing Madame de Hansfeld of the facts that he had
discovered, De Morville cut off all hope of retreat; but he never
expected to see the princess more, else he would not have been guilty of
such a display of bad generalship.
"What can I say, madame?" replied he; "for two whole months I had the
happiness of seeing you: every day when I learned you were on the point
of quitting the house adjoining ours to inhabit the Hôtel Lambert, in
the Isle St. Louis, oh, how sincere, how terrible was my emotion!
Perchance it was only then that I really felt how much I loved you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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