Never in my life had I lingered very long to observe Catalina, but this
afternoon I could not help but notice how pale and delicate she really was.
Propped up on her pillows with her golden hair falling around her
shoulders, one would not have guessed her to be more than fourteen years
old, instead of eighteen. Seeing her thus after her day of sufferings, I
pardoned all her bad humor and hardness of heart toward Paula; and I had a
great desire to take her in my arms but I did not dare do such a
thing--fearing she would refuse my caresses.
"Teresa," she said suddenly, closing her eyes to keep back the tears, "do
you think that it hurts very much when one dies?"
"Why do you ask that?" and Teresa looked at her quite surprised.
"I was thinking of Uncle John."
"That depends, Catalina, that depends. There are some persons who die
tranquilly in their sleep with no pain at all, but in the case of others it
is quite the contrary."
"But afterward, Teresa! How about afterward? What happens to us after
death?"
"Afterward?" Teresa looked puzzled. "Nobody knows what happens to us
afterward. When I was a little girl, my mother who was a very pious woman,
told us that if we were very good we would go to heaven, but if we were bad
we went to hell. I believe she was right, poor woman, but it is sometime
since I have thought of religious things, and your father does not like to
have us talk about it."
"I know _that_, Teresa, but I can't help thinking about it often and often.
Was our mother a 'pious woman?'"
"Not exactly--at least, not before she became ill. Her relatives in
Villar--your Aunt and your Uncle John used to write lovely letters to her,
that spoke of God and heaven and prayer. Your mother used to sigh after
reading them, and sometimes she would read me a page or two from those
letters, and would say to me, 'My good Teresa, we both ought to think about
these things! My sister is far more happy in her hut on the mountain-side
in Waldensia than we are here in the midst of abundance. It must be
wonderful not to fear death and to love God with all our heart' When she
spoke thus to your father he laughed at her and said. 'Now, don't you worry
about that, darling, you couldn't be any better than you are now; and I am
glad that you are not like these pious ladies who try to tell you what will
happen to you after death. You'll have plenty of time to think about those
things when you come to your last days; but now with your good health and
robust constitution you can count on a good old age.'"
"But father was mistaken, Teresa!"
"Yes, he certainly was mistaken, poor man. Nobody could have believed that
when on that Monday afternoon she complained of a little pain in her
throat, she would die on the following Thursday."
"Was it diphtheria, Teresa?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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