Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
The Decoration Day exercises at Appleton were somewhat marred by a
discussion as to whether the graves of Confederate soldiers should be
decorated, and one man--Prof. Sawyer--a soldier who lost a leg in the
army, said that if anybody should attempt to decorate a rebel soldier's
grave in his vicinity, it would have to be done over his--Sawyer's--dead
body.
Notwithstanding this heartrending recital, the graves of rebel soldiers
in many places in this state and throughout the north, were decorated by
Union soldiers. What hurt does it do to throw a few flowers on the clay
that covers one who was once your enemy? Nobody thinks less of the Union
soldier for it, and it would make the southern mother or sister of the
dead boy feel so much better to know that kind hands at the north had
done a noble act.
Suppose this Professor Sawyer had been killed and buried down south,
and the Confederate people should be decorating the graves of their
own dead, and they should throw a few flowers on his grave, and some
hot-headed vindictive rebel should get on his ear and say that the man
who laid that bouquet on the Yankee's grave would have to take it off
or fight. The professor, if he laid there and heard it, would feel like
getting out of the grave, and taking a crutch and mauling the liver out
of the bigoted rebel.
It is not the rebel's cause that we decorate, but we put a few flowers
above his remains to show the people who loved him at home, that there
is nothing so confounded mean about us after all, and that we do as we
would be done by, and that while we were mad, and sassy, and full of
fight, eighteen years ago, we want to be friends, and shake hands
over the respective graves of our loved ones, and quit making fools of
ourselves.
*****
A Ridiculous scene occurred a Palmyra, the other day. The furnace in the
basement of the church is reached by a trap door, which is right beside
the pulpit. There was a new preacher there from abroad, and he did not
know anything about the trap door, and the sexton went down there to
fix the fire, before the new minister arrived. The minister had just got
warmed up in his sermon, and was picturing to his hearers hell in all
its heat. He had got excited and told of the lake of burning brimstone
below, where the devil was the stoker, and where the heat was ten
thousand times hotter than a political campaign, and where the souls of
the wicked would roast, and fry, and stew until the place froze over.
Wiping the perspiration from his face, he said, pointing to the floor,
“Ah, my friends, look down into that seething, burning lake, and--” Just
at this point the trap door raised a little, and the sexton's face,
with coal smut all over it, appeared. He wanted to come up and hear the
sermon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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