Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
A good many may have wondered why we so suddenly quit speeding our horse
on the avenue. For two or three days we couldn't go down the avenue
enough, and there is no person but will admit that our old pile driver
trotted real spry. We did not get the idea that he was the fastest
horse that ever was, but he seemed real soon. It takes a good deal of
executive ability for a man who has a third-class horse to keep from
going down the road with horses that are too fast. One must be a good
judge, and when he finds a horse that he can beat, stick to him.
We got the thing down pretty fine, but one day a man drove along beside
us, going up, who seemed bound to get into conversation. He was a
red-faced man, with these side-bar whiskers, evidently a German. He was
driving a sorrel horse to a long sled, with a box on behind the seat,
a sort of delivery sleigh. He had a barrel in the sleigh, filled with
intestines from a slaughter house, two baskets full of the same freight,
a cow's head, and two sheep heads. He was evidently owner of a sausage
factory somewhere, and as he kept along beside us his company was
somewhat annoying. Not that we were proud, but we feared the people on
the avenue would think we were a silent partner in a sausage factory,
and that we were talking business.
The man was real entertaining in his conversation, but the load he
had was not congenial, and we were glad when the foot of the hill was
reached, so we could turn around and go down, and get away from him. We
turned and spit on our hands, and begun to pull up on the old horse,
and he began to get his legs untangled and to go. We forgot about the
sausage butcher, as we went down, the fresh air making every nerve get
up and git.
Suddenly the nose of a sorrel horse began to work up by where we sat,
and we looked around, and may we never live to make a million dollars if
it wasn't the red-faced sausage man, intestines, cow's head, basket and
all, and his old horse was coming for all that was out. We blush for our
sex. It would look nice to get in the papers that we had been racing our
blue-blooded thoroughbred against a sausage butcher, wouldn't it? Our
plan was formed in an instant. Great generals form plans suddenly, and
we took out the whip and touched our horse on a raw spot, intending to
go right away from the fertilizer.
The horse seemed to smell the load behind him, and to have his pride
touched, for he snorted and let out another link. We don't know as
anyone would believe it, but the faster our beautiful and costly steed
went, the faster that homely and cheap butcher horse climbed. People by
the hundreds all along the line were watching the race. The baskets
of sausage covets were slewing around from one side of his sled to the
other, and we expected every moment one of them would flop over into our
cutter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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