Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
Matters were becoming desperate, and we gave the horse one more cut and
went the last block at a fearful rate, but the butcher was right beside
us, so one mosquito bar would have covered us, and we came out neck and
neck, the Dutchman a little ahead because his horse was unchecked, and
the crowd yelled for the butcher. We turned to go up, when the butcher
came up alongside just as a carriage of beautiful ladies were passing,
and as they turned up their noses at his load, he said:
“Dot vas a nice race, ain't it, Mister Beck?”
We could have killed him in cold blood. Not that we dislike to be
beaten. We have always been beaten. It isn't that. But we don't want
to trot horses with no delivery wagon. We are not calculated for
associating, in the horse arena, with a load of slaughter house refuse.
It is asking too much. We are willing to race with Deacon Van Schaick,
or brother Antisdel, or Elder Hyde, or Elder Gordon, or any of those
truly good men in whom there is no guile, and in whose cutters there is
no foreign matter, but as long as reason maintains her throne we shall
never go upon the track again with a butcher.
There should be a law passed making it a penal offence for a person with
a delivery wagon to tackle onto a man who drives a thoroughbred. It is
wrong, and will lead to trouble. We have not given up racing entirely,
but hereafter we shall look the avenue over very close for butchers
before we let out our four legged telescope. A butcher is just as good
as anybody, understand us, but they must keep their distance. We
don't want to look into, the hind end of no cutter that is filled with
slaughter house ornaments, and we won't. It is not pride of birth, or
anything of that kind, but such people ought to drive on Wells street,
or have slower horses.
DOGS AND HUMAN BEINGS.
Lorillard, the New York tobacco man, had a poodle dog stolen, and has
offered a reward of five hundred dollars for the arrest of the thief,
and he informs a reporter that he will spend $10,000, if necessary, for
the capture and conviction of the thief. [Applause.]
The applause marked in there will be from human skye terriers, who have
forgotten that only a few weeks ago several hundred girls, who had
been working in Lorillard's factory, went on a strike because, as they
allege, they were treated like dogs. We doubt if they were treated as
well as this poodle was treated. We doubt, in case one of these poor,
virtuous girls was kidnapped, if the great Lorillard would have offered
as big a reward for the conviction of the human thief, as he has for the
conviction of the person who has eloped with his poodle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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